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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Another "very rough draft" of Part 1...will eventually move to Novelist Forum. The setting is Paris, France.


    Nocturne No. 13 in C-Minor: The Chopin Murders…….Part I



    Bam, bam, bam! The gavel resounds as the judge regains order in the courtroom. “We, the jury, find Nataliah Maria Wiltshire, NOT GUILTY!” Uproars of emotion and cheers shuddered through the court. Nataliah was unresponsive to the decision, didn’t blink, or make eye contact in any way. With a slight bewitching smile on her face, Nataliah continued to softly hum Chopin’s Nocturne No. 13 in C-Minor, and sketch a carmine-colored (her favorite color) piano in her tattered sketchpad.

    A child prodigy, her enigmatic artwork and eerie piano nocturnes, drew as much attention, as her cryptic life. She drew with imported pencils made only of the finest red dye prepared from the dried bodies of the female Mexican cochineal insect, and painted with the finest oils known to France. She was well known throughout France for her mystical abstract oil paintings. Experts labeled Nataliah an "autistic child savant" by the age of five, while some experts emphatically labeled Nataliah as a "child Schizophrenic."

    Nataliah Maria Wiltshire was the thirteen year old, self-proclaimed, main suspect in France’s recent “Chopin Murders,” as the media coined the phrase. By her own admittance, Nataliah claimed to have slain twelve women, however, there was not enough concrete evidence suggesting Nataliah ever being involved. Found inside the mouth of each victim, was a crumpled copy of the piano score, of Chopin's Nocturne No. 13 in C-Minor.

    Suspicious people say that Nataliah comes from a family with an extensive palette for beguilement. Some go as far as saying that witchcraft is a familiar practice to the Wiltshire bloodline. Some thought Sophia (Nataliah’s mother and gifted piano teacher) to be a witch, heard voices, and perhaps was the real murderer.

    Painted ;)


  2. Depressed

    butchiesmom JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    I think this will be a great story. It's harder to tell with this one because there's not a lot of character development yet, but the fact that this teenager didn't react to the verdict setting her free and her sketching throughout the trial with the carmine colored pencils is truly gruesome, lol.

    I can't wait to see how this develops. Knowing your truly dark side, this will be soooo coool, lol.

    I've made some suggestions, lol....
    “We, the jury, find Nataliah Maria Wiltshire, NOT GUILTY!” Uproars of emotion and cheers shuddered through the court. (Considering the story and the way she's just sitting there, maybe shuddered might be the word to use.) Nataliah was unresponsive to the decision, didn’t blink, or make eye contact in any way.

    carmine-colored (her favorite color) piano in her tattered sketchpad.

    hugs,
    Gail
  3. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Hi Gail! Thank you for taking time to read and to comment! I have made the edits and thank you for that! Yup...more is coming...and allot more editing too! lol This one is gonna loop...sort of starting at the end and then the story develops. I changed "lowly" to "softly" also. I like the word "shuddered" for what I want to convey thus far.

    I have two more coming...one is called "Sugar Cane" and another is called "The Restorer", and working slowly on "Beautiful Train" and "The Skull Papers...my first Sci-Fi...lol...and a psycho poetic thriller called "House of Poe-etry."

    Kim :jiggy:
  4. Angelic

    stardust JPiC Contributor

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    Hi, Ms. Kim!!
    This story is sooo cool, Ms. Kim.
    I can´t wait to keep on reading throughout the entire story. The PLOT is fantastic, and the ENDING must be SUPERB... You are indeed, the Queen of Mystery Stories!!
    Thank you for sharing your talents with us!!
    Cheers,
    Starry.:meeting:


    Posted By stardust | Apr 20, 2008
    #4
  5. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Hi Ms Starry!!! Thank you sooo much for taking time to read and comment! Ms Starry this one has been floating around in my head and I am sooo glad you like it so far...there is ALLOT more to this and I am gonna introduce something new in the story! Hope you have time to read my Lesbian Vampire Story so far....called Dali Diary Entry #1 in the Aspiring Novelist Forum....lol. Take Care.

    Kim :):sun:

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    This is a good start Kim. You have a lot to work with. I must keep up with the story.


    Posted By JolieH | Apr 27, 2008
    #6
  6. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Thanks Jolie..more to come soon with twists and am going to introduce something not new, but may be to some.

    Kim :)

    SuzyQ Member

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    Hi PaintedDiary,
    From what I read here, I like the direction this seems to be headed. It's always interesting to have a story loop around for the back story and feed our curiosity with more detail. Did you ever finish it or develop it more. I'd love to read more of it. :)

    SuzyQ


    Posted By SuzyQ | Jun 27, 2011
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  7. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    :wow: SuzyQ...memory lane!! Thank you ever so kindly for taking time to read and comment. I am most grateful. I have to honestly say that I did not finish this story. There were developments like how the ghost of Chopin was actually making Nataliah and her Mother commit the murders and how the condition of synesthesia (runs in her family) played a part, in this mysterious debacle, and more that I must pen. Perhaps I shall finish....I need to find my muse :ninja2:!!!!! Thank you again SuzyQ...:wubclub:

    SuzyQ Member

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    ahhhh yes.... don't turn your back on that muse too long! :blink-stare:
    SuzyQ


    Posted By SuzyQ | Jun 27, 2011
    #10
  8. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Wow - don't know how I didn't happen by this piece before now - but indeed! I like the way this piece was developing as well... Chopin score in the mouth of each victim? To music do we part? LOL - novel idea... So dark, I can already here the film score :p

    Interesting though - I read the "NOT GUILTY!" and immediately my mind went to the craziness that is the Casey Anthony trial --- Can you imagine?!? o_O

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