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  1. Digging it

    JONATHAN living not existing.

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    Your brilliant smiles,
    your silken touch,
    your exploring hands
    and your breath that filled the air like incence ,
    everytime yu whispered in my ear.
    Now your beauty has vanished into thin air ,
    even as your truth draws near .

    I now mourn the death of my illusions .
    I now cry at the grave of my delusions.
    I sigh now for the birth of my reality .
    I pine now for that old fantasy .

    Its a simple fact for all to see ,
    i fell in love with a lier ,
    i concieved another world within me .
    A world so wondrous yet a world so untrue ,
    the real world's so mundane
    now that im not with you.
    --------------------------
    --------------------------
    FEELING SO DECIEVED ...


    Posted By JONATHAN | Apr 9, 2007
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  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Jonathan,

    I loved the concept of the fantasy as a passing away feeling. There is nothing like that feeling, and be crushed. What you thought, really never was. I thought it was unique to approach it, as passing away, which may help ease the pain a little. Only thing, is what can be a facade, can be the best thing one has known, and that lingers. That feeling is depicted in your fabulous last two lines. Many can relate Jonathan, as this hit home for me as well. Great job! Thank you for sharing!!

    {{{~~**KIM**~~}}}:)

    dazamaru Member

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    nice...the first 4 lines sent me in a daze....
    this work really captures well the disillusionment in love. The way we set ourselves up with expectations.

    I feel the pain in this write...which is what good poetry should do. Make you feel.


    Posted By dazamaru | Apr 9, 2007
    #3
  3. Digging it

    JONATHAN living not existing.

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    Thank yu Kim and Daza , thanks for reading and commenting , apart from the portrayel of hurt due to deception ,wot ive tried to do with this poem is depict the dillemma one has to go thru wen one is stuck in between past sweet memories which may not necessarily b true and a comparatively mundane present which is almost like a taunting reality , happy yu guyz liked it , please check out IM GETTING UP TO WALK AGAIN and leave a comment if yu get sum time .


    Posted By JONATHAN | Apr 11, 2007
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  4. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Jonathan, this really a wonderfully reflective piece. Even while being inside the shell of the depression, having the hindsight to reflect on the fact that it was in a sense self-inflicted shows great strength of character....

    I now mourn the death of my illusions .
    I now cry at the grave of my dillusions.
    I sigh now for the birth of my reality .
    I pine now for that old fantasy

    The funny thing is that the above stanza can be applied to SO MANY aspects of life...not just love! Awesomely constructed!!! I love it! :tybow:

    Nomad

    Closet_Writer Pro-Ninja

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    I'm in love with the last line of the second stanza. We're gonna go to vegas and elope.

    Anyway, I thought the poem was great! I love reading what you write!
  5. Digging it

    JONATHAN living not existing.

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    Thank yu Nomad and Closet ,
    1... Nomad i see wot yu say wen u say that those lines apply to so much more in life , we all dream and dreams are sometimes shattered which downgrades them to illusions but as they say it takes courage to dream again and work towards its fullfillment and that where i am trying to b right now .

    2..Closet , Im happy that ure love life isnt mediocre and mundane coz out of all the things that love can be it sure shouldnt be that , my best wishes for the life yu hav ahead of yu .

    THANX FOR READING AND COMMENTING ...JONATHAN


    Posted By JONATHAN | Apr 27, 2007
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  6. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Hmmm - This poem is a dark ode to Love Lost - The feelings and emotion in this poem are really interesting JONATHAN - I like to hold tight to the concept of "better to have loved and lost than to not loved at all" --- It's nice to put such feelings into a poem though isn't it? There's healing in those words.

    At anyrate - aside from the spelling errors - A very nice write.
    Thanx for the sharing

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Apr 27, 2007
    #8

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