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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    soft grass,
    waiting for the rains soft kiss,

    Can fate swirl desires so much?,
    that the last thing I hear is you
    in my ear,
    that would be everything and more,

    soft snow,
    waiting for the sun to melt it away,

    this solemn praise,
    I feel, that now being touched by love,
    the rain only rains,
    the sun only shines,
    yet what they reveal is only a shroud to your beauty,

    the soft grass,
    drips off rain,
    having been blessed and full of life,

    I take steps that my path is lighter with your company,
    perfection means to most the ultimate feeling,
    but to me it means two hearts meeting,
    and once they become attuned,
    the fieriest wrath shall not tear them asunder.

    Patricia_Lynn Patricia_lynn

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    This piece is good and I enjoyed the read, thank you for sharing :)

    I'm curious, Erik, what other types of work do you have? Do you just think about it and write? Or do you have them on paper or in your computer?
    When I am working, I write down what I am thinking, go over it, set away, come back and look it over. I always find parts that could be better and fix it. I will shut it down and come back in a few hours and reopen it...lol, you would be surprised at how much i find wrong...I'm not sure if it is just me and I am too picky, or perhaps I am not the only one that does this.

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    well Patricia I do like you think then write it out,
    usually I can't see my own mistakes though,
    thanks glad you liked it,
    right now i'm only writing for fun,
    I stoppe dwriting for books since i'm waiting for results from publishers,

    I think it sgood because it makes my thoughts clearer
  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Erik, this is quite beautiful in the your word selection. I love the soft side of you, and you write beautifully. This puts me in mind of one of our most talented writers on LOVE, and his name is True Blue. I believe there is a misspelling, and the correct spelling is fieriest. I think the question mark goes after the word ear also. Perhaps just breeze through again to correct capitalization, and punctuation. I love the concept, the theme, and execution of this piece Erik. Like I have said before, your evolution in the writing process is remarkable. Keep'm comin!! ;) Take Care.

    Painted

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    well of the times I'd read true blue I see no parralel between this and his works, but you've probably read all of his and found one similar,
    thanks glad you said it has beauty well thats all poetry really needs don't ya think,
    I fixed the gramtical error,

    welll this defantley sums up my longing,
    and well you have me in the mood for a new poem of True Blue's when he comes out with one
    , gotta go to church,

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