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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


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    Sebby JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    This really isn't a poem, it doesn't flow or rhyme or really make any sense, it's just written on pure emotion

    Please don't ask me how he is
    Your only cutting deeper
    Every time I say "I don't know"
    It's like one thousand knives inside

    Please don't ask me where he is
    I don't know that bit either
    You'd think I would
    I really should
    But someone should tell him that

    What we have
    Is all for show
    It's even put on for me
    Yet I play along
    And fake a smile
    When my heart is split in two

    You know that I love you more than life itself
    And you say you love me too
    But if you did, you'd show it, no?
    And I wouldn't feel this pain

    I guess they'd call it justice
    I've broken a heart or two
    But never you
    I wouldn't
    I couldn't
    Even if I tried

    So please don't ask me questions
    The answers you wouldn't like
    If you don't have time to hear the hurt
    Then pls don't ask "where's ****?"


    Posted By Sebby | Jul 20, 2006
    #1

  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    First I would like to say this is so heartfelt Ms VS. I feel the emotion, can picture you telling me this as we have cofee ( I prefer tea w/ cream & sugar pls) in your living room in London. Oh, I got carried away! N E way, to say that the poem does not make sense, flow, or rhyme is poppycock (Is that an English word..lol!?)

    IT IS PURE EMOTION! Poetry is an ART and sometimes that is forgotten. I do believe that this is one of your best pieces VS. It is real, it is raw, it is not thought through, just...this is how I feel DAMN IT, and I wrote it down!!! I also love the way you start by telling us, then to telling how you feel, then perhaps at the end, you are talking to (****) in a sense. Ms Vs, this again I say is one of your best poems yet!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

    Much Luv'...~*Painted*~
  2. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    1. Hi SEBBY
    2.
    Poppycock - You've just defined what a poem is all about!
    3. Let me read....
    ------------------

    VERY NICE write SEBBY - I read the 1st line - I was like "Oh Boy!" The emotion that you've expressed so well is just a bit of the turmoil that I've been going through for years now! TRULY! Are you peeping my soapopera of a life?

    Please don't ask me where he is
    I don't know that bit either
    You'd think I would
    I really should
    But someone should tell him that


    Somebody called me yesterday on my celly... "May I speak to **** please?"
    I said - rather unpleasantly actually - "How the hell can I let you speak to **** when I can't?" Then politely slammed the phone down with a resounding CLA-CLUNK...

    Yeah - You've written a poem that I can understand, as it relates to this saga of mine that I call life.... There's a bit of bitterness within your words:

    Yet I play along
    And fake a smile
    When my heart is split in two


    If I may make a suggestion - don't give them the pleasure of your beautiful smile! That's it - I enjoyed this write - Keep doing your creative thing girl!

    Thanx for sharing
    Jacquii.
    ---Doublepost Automerged---
    ----------------
    On another note - How on earth??? The 1st thing I thought when I read your "this is not poetry...." talk - I said to myself POPPYCOCK LOL
    Didn't read KIM's post before reading the poem - but it's funny that she said the same EXACT thing LOL - I suppose it's true - Great minds think alike :p
    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jul 20, 2006
    #3

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