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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    KingAce JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    A bit of introduction to this one....umm This is a collabo I did on another site with two of my closest friends, Peaches(her part is in blue) is my love that'll I'll prolly never see and Pastor(his part is in dark red) is a very good homie of mine.....Enjoy! Oh and my part is in just red



    Stepping out into the breeze
    Sending chills down my spine
    I’m going for a walk
    Suddenly my clothes feel thinner
    My shoes don’t fit
    It’s getting colder by the second
    Hearing a loud grumble from my stomach
    Oh
    My winter blues
    This walk has turn into a journey
    Like stars rest on a nights sky
    Frost lies upon my cheeks
    I am a walking ice cube
    I’m still so hungry
    The cold blanket covering me burns
    What irony
    My winter blues...
    Winter blues renovate upon the feeling of burns
    The irony was but true flame to the touch
    My Winter blues, merely a blue torch leading to Summer reds
    I pace slowly cross third world countries as genocide
    Setting families ablaze with pain, fear
    My cinders fly cross the world as love, hurt, emotion
    I am the epitome of talent in the depths of the ghetto
    Me, Summer red, whom can quench the thirst of revenge
    I am before night skies, after day skies
    I arise as the crimson heat waves in a horizon
    Fiery pleasure surrounds my being
    What irony
    My Summer reds...
    red must be the color of my emotions,
    i walk for days thru trials,while my minds suspended in a frozen motion,
    is love,anger,or retribution the potion?.....
    i really cant percieve,but god sooths my wounds like baby lotion,
    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh,wat an instant relief,
    as i esacape from enemy lands and conquer my inner beast,
    realizing im my own serenitys chief,
    i control my emotions from hapiness to grief,
    im delighted with bliss,but blistered at thyne feet...........GOD WALK WITH ME CONTINUOUSLY PLEASE!


    Posted By KingAce | Aug 19, 2006
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  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear King,
    This was a very interesting and strong collab, with three very talented poets. I really enjoyed this. I know some boards use this type of structure as an exercise. The flow is nice and word choice is very intriguing in all three layers. Great Job!


    Painted Kim
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    Ariono-jovan Labu Member

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    i can dig it

    let me first commend all three of you artists this joint as i know a three way collabo is not as easy as it appears. enjoyed how the delivery was consistant throughout with a pinch of end- rhyme rhythmic purposes. keep exercising in the craft bruddah. one-

    Terry New Member

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    Wow..Outstanding! What depth...I was completely lost in this one. The deep meaning is very much felt. One of those writes that leaves this reader in complete awe. You and your friends have done an excellent job in conveying the emotion in this Masterpiece.
    Excellent title..
    Very well done!


    Posted By Terry | Aug 28, 2006
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    Altree94 VIP Member

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    For having three separate artists, this really pulls together well! Great imagery throughout all three sections and the rhythm flows smooth through all three without breaking, which can happen quite easily in a collaboration. Very well done, indeed!


    Posted By Altree94 | Sep 8, 2006
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Nice collabo KING - This was really flexible in that the stanzas of each writer seems to flow into the other like so many pieces of feathers on the wind...

    Really enjoyed this one! Thanx for sharing it!

    Jacquii.

    btw - feel free to invite your peeps to sign on at JPiC
    as the saying goes - the more the merrier ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Oct 2, 2006
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    KingAce JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Thank you very much everyone for the responses and don't worry Ms. Jaquiic i'mma try to bring more people on


    Posted By KingAce | Oct 31, 2006
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    michael JPiC Contributor

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    KingAce

    I thought that this was so cool. I also love the collabo myself. The winter blues can be oh so blue right. I got so many different image's from this. I enjoyed reading it.


    Posted By michael | Nov 4, 2006
    #8

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