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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


  1. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Reflective Passion

    Paned expressions
    of neon reflections
    transposed against
    a dusky blue sky.

    All eclipsed by the
    hint of a smile
    on a weathered face
    with lascivious eyes.

    A wink of
    half-closed invitation,
    the tip of a tongue
    flirts on by.

    Needles of arousal dart
    d
    o
    w
    n
    arrowing straight
    to the seat of the matter.

    A hand reaches out
    to touch, to caress,
    to be pulled close
    and the dream fades …

    dissipating
    like a faded cloud
    pulled into
    the darkened stratosphere.


    ©2007 Sandra Elizabeth Johnson


    I tried to format the word down to be arrowed but *Sighs* I failed. Anyways hope you like.


    Posted By Mysty | Jun 3, 2007
    #1

    zaac Banned

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    you sound like an urban poet in a way thats really refreshing

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Jun 3, 2007
    #2
  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Mysty,

    This was awesome!!! Fresh and new, and love the play on neon colors. Darkened stratosphere......oh my goodness a science word, lololol, I loved this so much, and it is quite addictive to read.

    Kim :wubclub:
  3. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Dear Zaac and PaintedDiary,

    Thank You both so very much :) ..... Yeah Kim I know a few scientific words lol ..... I never got into the dissection part of science classes but I sure enjoyed the chemistry classes. Was the first to volunteer to drink the home brewed alcohol lol.


    Posted By Mysty | Jun 3, 2007
    #4

    Bear JPiC Contributor

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    awesome write Mysty love the vision and the flow of your words and the empassioned love burned into each line simply elegant
    hugs kisses
    Bear


    Posted By Bear | Jun 3, 2007
    #5
  4. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Thank You Bear..

    *hugs*

    Mysty


    Posted By Mysty | Jun 3, 2007
    #6

    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

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    AWESOME!

    Mysty,

    Such color....and your seem to have written this so effortlessly. Each stanza is palletable and intices the reader to want more. Your words were obviously carefully selected and placed. I admire this kind of writing and will stop by to read more of your work. You almost make one wish they were in this dream with you!!!!! hehe :bowandarrow:
    My Fav:



    Thanks much!


    Jerry
    :sax:


    Posted By Jer4clarity | Jun 9, 2007
    #7

    Kit Carson JPiC Contributor

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    I like this Misty, it works okay. I like to play with form also and get frustrated when it doesn't work, but this works very well.


    Posted By Kit Carson | Jun 9, 2007
    #8
  5. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Hiya Jerry......... Thank You for your kind words :) glad you enjoyed this.

    ~Mysty~
    --------------------------
    --------------------------
    Hiya Kit....... the name is Mysty not Misty...... Glad you enjoyed my poem though :)

    ~Mysty~


    Posted By Mysty | Jun 10, 2007
    #9
  6. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Hehehehe, Hi Mysty...I came back for a second read, and this is quite the poem to do so. Beautifully crafted and beautifully executed. LOL @ Jerry....;) Love Ya!

    Kim:)

    Nikos Tselepides New Member

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    Mysty,


    This sounds like a poem about sexual desire to me, though I may be totally wrong--correct me if I am, please....

    Liked it all but the words "paned expressions" is something I am no sure about--it may be stretching the language too far (for me), but of course poetic license can let it pass.

    It is full of good images and similes and rich nuances. It is also very enjoyable to read.

    Many thanks.
  7. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Hello Nikos..... Thank You for your kind words.... pictures in windows = paned expressions....reflections in the windowpane I guess .... Don't know why that phrase came to me. May end up changing it .... not sure.


    Posted By Mysty | Jun 15, 2007
    #12

    bloodletting_of_the_sky New Member

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    smooth flow here... reminds me of a romantic play between a God and a Goddess...

    louisianagal529 New Member

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    incredible poem.

    i love your choice of words.

    "A hand reaches out
    to touch, to caress,
    to be pulled close
    and the dream fades …

    dissipating
    like a faded cloud
    pulled into
    the darkened stratosphere."


    the darkened stratosphere is a great choice of words. it's incredible how u made it fit into the poem.

    Nikos Tselepides New Member

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    Mysty,

    I know what 'paned expressions' means--it just sounded as stretching the language beyond its reasonable tolerance, that is all. But as said, poetic license can justify it.

    Thanks again.
  8. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Dear Nikos..... it is a play on the words..... Pained Expressions..... windowpane ... you know?


    Posted By Mysty | Jul 3, 2007
    #16

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