Welcome to JPiC Forum For Writers! Please log in or sign up to interact with our Community.
  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Poetry Garden New Member

    Member Since:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Message Count:
    110
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia girl living in Georgia
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    My heart is like an empty river
    flowing nowhere…
    until the tears fill the river
    and I feel relief
    ©dp

    Sartor JPiC Contributor

    Member Since:
    Sep 28, 2006
    Message Count:
    275
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +3 / 0 / -0
    I enjoyed the write, I felt the loneliness, I understood the sorrow. When read, I wished the thought would be carried on with more words, but perhaps that would have caused a loss of emotion that the few words written conveyed. Well done poet.


    Posted By Sartor | Aug 31, 2007
    #2

    Poetry Garden New Member

    Member Since:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Message Count:
    110
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia girl living in Georgia
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    You're right it could of been longer...I was trying to express that feeling of relief when you just can't take it any more and the tears flow. I really didn't think beyond that...thanks again for your comment, it is much appreciated!
  1. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 14, 2006
    Message Count:
    1,980
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Location:
    Claremont, CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +14 / 0 / -0
    Pg - this is short and sweet...puts me in mind of dangling feet into a river...alone and in pain...and the tears just coming...cleansing....very nice write...I have to agree as well, that another few lines would have rounded it out well...but no matter...lovely as it is!!

    Nomad

    Poetry Garden New Member

    Member Since:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Message Count:
    110
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Virginia girl living in Georgia
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my prose Nomad! I guess I'm just one of those people who thinks less is more, that's why my favorite is Haiku
    *cheesy grin* Thanks again...appreciate you.

We hope you're enjoying our forum!

Only registered Members have access to posting priviledges. Registration here is 100% FREE. Use the button below to begin registration or the form on the right to login to your account.

Forgot your password?

Share This Page

GreetingsGalleryOnline.com