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    Echoes Poetic Princess

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    VERSION 1


    rustic moon shadow
    winter snow piling on roof
    hot cocoa in mug




    VERSION 2


    rustic moon shadow
    hot cocoa steaming in mug
    snow piling on roof


    Posted By Echoes | Dec 15, 2006
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    Harry New Member

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    Love this one Lisa, it is so visually described, very nice work indeeed:bravo::toot:

    catch up with you later:peekaboo:


    Posted By Harry | Dec 15, 2006
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  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    LOVED IT!!!!! Got any more chocolate for me and Harry? Lol!!!! Fantabulous!!!!

    Painted

    Echoes Poetic Princess

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    :thanx2: Harry:bye:


    Posted By Echoes | Dec 15, 2006
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    Echoes Poetic Princess

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    :thanx2: Painted:D


    I'll pour some cocoa for you and Harry:girl-LOL:


    Posted By Echoes | Dec 15, 2006
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    Harry New Member

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    you are so welcome Lisa, love this one:D


    it's freezing here, I sure could use that cup of cocoa:give_heart2: :wink2:


    Posted By Harry | Dec 16, 2006
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    Echoes Poetic Princess

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    :thanx2: again Harry:huggles:

    it's cold here too:yes3:


    Posted By Echoes | Dec 16, 2006
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    Echoes Poetic Princess

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    Hey Harry, I changed the lines around like you suggested, what do you think?:peekaboo:

    I think I like the orignal version best :bass: :harhar:


    Posted By Echoes | Dec 17, 2006
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Hey ECHOES - Just write for the season :) -- Love the term "rustic moon shadow" - very nice haiku!

    Thanx for sharing

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Dec 17, 2006
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    Echoes Poetic Princess

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    Hi Jacquii:wavey:


    :thanx2: so much for reading and commenting:huggles:


    Posted By Echoes | Dec 17, 2006
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    Harry New Member

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    Hey Lisa, now that you have posted both versions, I think I agree with you about the first one:fan1:

    talk soon :huggles:


    Posted By Harry | Dec 17, 2006
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    Echoes Poetic Princess

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    Ok, Harry, I like it too, thanks for your input:huggles:

    gotta get some:asleep:

    talk to you soon:bye:


    Posted By Echoes | Dec 18, 2006
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    Harry New Member

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    you're welcome for my input for whatever it was worth:rofl:

    we should do a collabo sometime:huggles:

    see ya soon:bye:


    Posted By Harry | Dec 18, 2006
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    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    I however like the second version, it seems the more logical course of events,
    and I like thsi poem allot I think any time someone becomes innovative in a poem with how poetry is it should be treasured

    Echoes Poetic Princess

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    I have to think on it some more, I am still not sure which version to go with, your ideas make sense, thanks!


    Posted By Echoes | Dec 19, 2006
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    Echoes Poetic Princess

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    yeah Harry, I would love to write a poem or two with you:yay:

    Let me know when you wanna get started:sax:

    talk soon:bye:


    Posted By Echoes | Dec 20, 2006
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    Harry New Member

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    Hey, two poems sounds great to me:yay:

    I'll contact you soon:yes3:


    you know Lisa, Erik's take has got me to thinking about which version to go with again:toot:


    Posted By Harry | Dec 20, 2006
    #17

    Echoes Poetic Princess

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    I know Harry, I am still pondering which one to use:rofl:

    talk to you soon:bye:

    you and your wife have a great Christmas:huggles:


    Posted By Echoes | Dec 24, 2006
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    Harry New Member

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    hey Lisa, sorry I missed you through the Holidays, I hope you have a great year:huggles: My wife says hello you ya:bye:

    where are you, I keep checking, but you are not here:poof-gone:


    Posted By Harry | Jan 3, 2007
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    Altree94 VIP Member

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    Hi Lisa! For what it's worth, I like the second version better! In haiku the season or the nature reference should only be implied instead of stated right out. So the second one is more true to the traditional haiku form.


    Posted By Altree94 | Jan 11, 2007
    #20

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