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Discussion in 'Spoken Word & Freestyle' started by Jeez, May 6, 2007.



    Jeez Banned

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    She writes to me...

    Are you naked??

    My reply is... Yes.

    She asked... Totally??

    Yes and waiting for you.

    She opened my bedroom door.


    Posted By Jeez | May 6, 2007
    #1

  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    My Dearest Ms Jeez :giftrose:,

    Truly amazing! I do not think, there is any poem that I have read, or that even I have composed that in 25 words or less, had me thinking dirty thoughts! Aside from the obvious, how clever, new, fresh, and novel, I love it!!!! The mystery, the pauses, omg, the words, the lingering feeling of (wish it was me), lol, and the simplistic beauty your scribe with is just beyond me. After I read this, all I could do is just throw my hands up, and say..."I Give Up!"..... "Take me now, Mr. Teddy Bear!!!" :rofl2: Now...let's talk about that was a classic ending, with an even :heat:er visual...oh lawd, did my mind play out the rest!!! I will not go into details...however......maybe I will close my bedroom door tonight, and maybe...just....maybe...someone will ASK...me! Loved IT!!!!!!!!! OMG, I loved it!:bravothanx:
    I gave this an "Excellent" Rating!!!!!

    ~~~~:(@KIM

    Jeez Banned

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    Ah... Ms Kim...,

    It brings a huge smile
    to my face when ' see
    how much you enjoy
    these writes.:cute:

    Thanks Ms Kim for
    your wonderful and
    bright comments...

    and for being the first
    to make those great
    replys. :) ;) :flyaway:


    Posted By Jeez | May 6, 2007
    #3

    Bear JPiC Contributor

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    great write sensual and it get right to the point well done
    hugs kisses
    tom


    Posted By Bear | May 8, 2007
    #4

    Jeez Banned

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    Thomas,

    Thanks for the
    nice reply you
    gave for this
    write.

    It was just a
    little teaser for
    Kim at the time.

    Again Thanks.:chuckle2:


    Posted By Jeez | May 8, 2007
    #5

    mistyllspoetry Billy Corgan's Shadow

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    Wow this poem gives you a hot feeling.
    Short and to the point. Full of emotion
    and creation. I like the way you write
    this very nice!
  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    She whispers to me…

    Are you ready??

    My reply is… Yes.

    She Asked… First time??

    Yes and waiting for you.

    Are you naked?... I ask.

    Her reply is... Totally.

    She closed my bedroom door.


    Dear Ms Jeez :giftrose:

    For you....you inspired me.....Kim;)

    Jeez Banned

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    Thanks Misty,

    Glad you enjoyed
    this write.

    Thanks as well for
    the nice review.


    Posted By Jeez | May 9, 2007
    #8

    Jeez Banned

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    Ahhhh....Ms Kim,

    You write is better
    then mine, 'm very
    happy.

    Yours is more on,
    not as impersonal
    as mine.

    That is good...

    Thanks very much
    saven this ;) Yep!!!!


    Posted By Jeez | May 9, 2007
    #9

    Benny New Member

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    Burning and visually enticing...wow. Take a bow, muse!


    Posted By Benny | May 11, 2007
    #10
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    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Ahhhhh....Ms Jeez....you inspire my tremendously!!!!! Twas a small token of my admiration for your unique style, and complete awe of you! I am humbled....:blush:

    Jeez Banned

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    Ah, Benny,

    Thanks for the very
    nice words you have
    said about our write.

    Tree and Bear got
    it all started.

    Thanks for the
    read.:D


    Posted By Jeez | May 12, 2007
    #12

    Jeez Banned

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    Ms Kim...,

    Thanks for your
    token...

    Was thinken of
    copying it for my
    self to have.

    If that is Ok
    with you????:D


    Posted By Jeez | May 12, 2007
    #13
  4. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Anything for my Ms Jeez...love ya! ;)

    Jeez Banned

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    Ha Ms Kim,

    Thanks :smile:

    Now ' can pin
    it up on the wall. ;)


    Posted By Jeez | May 15, 2007
    #15

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