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Discussion in 'Creative Traditional' started by Benny, Oct 29, 2006.



    Benny New Member

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    Encased within silent shroud,
    numbed in heart, so self-avowed,
    soul screaming oh so loud;
    set in stone were you.
    Swirls of secret agonies,
    always there, never freed,
    heart replaying darkest scenes;
    set in stone were you.

    Crumbling castles at your feet,
    Lillith never in retreat,
    damn the dreams your heart seeks;
    set in stone were you.
    Irony and useless tears,
    restless heart fed on fear,
    lonely nights and wasted years;
    set in stone were you.

    Lying deep within life's grave,
    buried with the plans you made;
    to hell with dreams once made-
    set in stone were you.
    Silent shroud, I knew you well,
    partnered in your quiet hell,
    dead within where cold waves swell;
    set in stone were you.


    Posted By Benny | Oct 29, 2006
    #1

    lanaia74 New Member

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    A poem of the darkness! VERY well done!


    Posted By lanaia74 | Oct 29, 2006
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    Benny New Member

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    Thank you. Glad it spoke to you.


    Posted By Benny | Oct 29, 2006
    #3

    Curtis Spider Lee Curtis Spider Lee

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    Well Done Benny! You make the rocks speak and echo our very souls!!

    mangodroplet Blue Mango Puppy :]

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    o_O
    i'm now very creepyfied...
    but very wonderfully crafted...*tinglies*

    Well done!

    deep_poet86 Endless Rewind

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    Has a dark feeling but a very enjoyable read, thanks for sharing
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Wow BENNY - this write is a superb quality and any poem that evokes the name Lilith kinda wants to make me shiver... Dark poem? Yes. Interesting poem? Absolutely! Stylish poem? Indeed - I like the repetitives - said like an eerie mantra of sorts.

    I stylishly interesting write BENNY - thoroughly enjoyable - but care to explain the mystery that it is? :crazy: What --- may I ask --- inspired this writing?

    Thanx for the sharing ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | May 24, 2007
    #7
  2. Depressed

    butchiesmom JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Wow! So deep! Set in stone were you...the repetition of this line throughout this poem is fantastic.
    I found the meter even, easy to read and understand.

    Fantastic job, Benny
    Gail

    zaac Banned

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    you have a way of saying things when i need to hear them most.

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Jun 12, 2007
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    Benny New Member

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    Glad you liked this one...holds a special place for me. Zaac...very glad you heard this and it spoke to you. It did for the one I wrote it for...married her!

    MsJ...people hide behind lots of things and never actually live their lives...never taste life at all...just go through the motions...afraid to take chances and most of all-afraid to love. When we do this to ourselves we decieve ourselves and become 'shrouds' and bury ourselves underneath our fears...prisoners of fear and the past.

    Again, thank you all for reading this little ditty.


    Posted By Benny | Jun 12, 2007
    #10

    zaac Banned

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    thank you reverend benny lol

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Jun 12, 2007
    #11
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    :wow: - thanks for the feedback BENNY
    I said just as much... Well kinda... HERE

    Jacquii.

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