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Discussion in 'Essays' started by muhowhow, Apr 28, 2011.



    muhowhow New Member

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    How I hate her for what she did to my heart. That bitter sting that is so out of character that it seems almost comical in a now rather apathetic light. She was always so conniving, and cruel. The way she carried her lies. The way she thought she was so above us. The soft glow of her skin when my hand brushed over it, and the resulting smile.... I suppose I may have regrets. I regret opening my eyes. I was happily in bliss before then. Damn it. Why do I still have to relive these now long dead moments? I hated the way she saw me, but I loved the way I made her feel. It was love. It was that which broke through her lies and started to capture her heart, that she had to refrain and instead cause implosion on both sides. I don't think I'll ever forget that smile, but damn-it I'll find another one to make it pale in comparison some day. I hope I will, at least. My optimistic heart has started to grow weary, and the long term damage of the ordeal has set in. It's a wonder its lived this long. The good thing about this is that I know that the more I come to terms with all this, the more I can put it behind me. With that, I believe this is my final goodbye. A goodbye to the one who stole my heart, but didn't give up hers, to the one who played the game and suddenly came close to losing...

    Goodbye to my blackest rose of wish and regret. I almost wish I could say that I'll miss you.


    Posted By muhowhow | Apr 28, 2011
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    jakeminick McGonagall's Ghost

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    good writing. great expression of emotion throughout. i don't really have anything else to say but, i didn't want to leave without saying anything because, well, it's good writing...


    Posted By jakeminick | Apr 30, 2011
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Yeah - lovely expression. Nice word selection. This made for a really poignant read not for only these reasons, but because it's something I image everyone experiences in his or her lifetime: the one that got away... But I'm quite surprised that you'd write what is essentially an ode for the one who played such horrid games. I just started a new poem the other day = the title "Virginity Game" -- The very first 2 lines -- and unfortunately the only lines I've got for this one thus far lol -- "All of these insidious things/ that I am not." this was meant to be the last 2 lines of the poem...

    Anyway - what you've experienced Corey might be called the Virginity Game LOL - You write so well, chronicling what can only be called "insidious things" -- Sorry your heart was a bit "stolen" by someone who was treacherous, deceitful and more than a bit beguiling, but a suggestion if I may ==> Reclaim your heart! Get it back :)

    At anyrate - this made for a very mellow, yet melancholy read. Thanks for the share.

    And just a note ==> Please again familiarize yourself with the JPiC Posting Policy, particularly our Forum Etiquette policy:

    It's always nice to see you posting your work here at JPiC - we'd also like to see you sharing the poetic love you've been given right back to your fellow boardmates ;)

    Jacquii.

    ---------- Post added at 06:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:02 PM ----------

    Another quick note if I may - Please work on your formatting. This essay you've shared is really nice. The word selection is sophisticated. The emotion is heartfelt. The irony in your last lines is poignant. But in my opinion (and I hope you don't mind me being frank), the formatting sucks.

    It's 2 paragraphs. 1 whole chunk of the first paragraph. And a little snippet for the last... This piece would read so much easier and just simply LOOK the part of sophistication if you tidied up the formatting so it doesn't at least appear so much like a clump of words. :yes:


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Apr 30, 2011
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