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Discussion in 'Essays' started by muhowhow, Feb 21, 2011.



    muhowhow New Member

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    Somewhere along the line I seem to have lost my smile. That ever illusive feeling of everything being ok doesn't seem to want to come back, and this new feeling of constant rock bottom seems to be settling in. Whatever happened to people living a happy life? Did we suddenly lose our need for it, and just start looking at everything and everyone as if they were trying to hurt us? I always kept a positive mind before this despite my ventures into the darkness of the human psyche, but the last flame of contentment has left me now that there are no happy souls left. My optimism can only survive if there is at least one truly happy person left. It is dying now. No money, I've just lost half of my friends, the other half are caught in depression, jobs are never available no matter how hard I work, I have no way of being really social anymore, the list goes on. There is one person who is still happy, or so I think. He is my cousin, who lives in Colorado. He seems to still be happy. Then again, people are warm and welcoming out there, jobs are plentiful (or so it seems), the weather actually tests you and forces you to be better adapted, everyone is more laid back, it just seems all around better. Sometimes I think about just leaving one day to get there. Why can't it be like that here? It seems these days that most people have their heads too far up their ass to be happy or even well mannered and everyone else's optimism seems to have died because of them. I long for a life that is simple and happy. Where the little things are the best things, and no one ever on your back about anything.

    Don't get me wrong, I still believe you have to work for it. However, how can I work for it when there isn't any work to be done? What do I do in a society where I am too passive a person to prove myself because there are already too many people trying to do the same thing? I just want to escape to a place where I actually belong. I hate it here in california, and I wish I could just leave.


    Posted By muhowhow | Feb 21, 2011
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    Azekiel-Horizon New Member

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    How are you my fellow poet? Your poetry is very deep and expressive. I really felt the struggle and pain in this piece, but never give up and I believe you will not because the title suggest that there is somewhere better. Just continue to believe and strive for that place in life and I guarantee you will get there.

    muhowhow New Member

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    Thanks, my friend. I know someday I will get there but it pains me that no one else in my family strives for a place to be happy as much as I do. My family just 'settled' for what they could get and are often quoted regretting it. I started at a disadvantage because of it. It also pains me being so close and yet not being able to walk those beautiful hills.


    Posted By muhowhow | Feb 21, 2011
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  1. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Ever the cynic am I when I suggest that the concept of living a happy life evaporated when Adam and Eve got tossed out of the garden LOL - ha! Couldn't resist that one.

    But how amazingly cynical and pessimistic are you in this piece Corey. You're far to young to possess such a bleak assessment of humanity. Smile a bit. Roll your eyes at folks. Laugh at life.

    And in between these fleeting moments of laissez faire-osity -- plot your move out of Cali :helloplane:

    btw - don't you want an avatar? :yes:


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Feb 22, 2011
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    jakeminick McGonagall's Ghost

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    i feel ya on that. i felt the same way when i was 18. now i'm just an apathetic half-ass. and, not that i'm in any position to give advise but, i would suggest to keep writing and maybe burrow yourself into some kind of genius and, take small steps away from the passiveness. peace.


    Posted By jakeminick | Feb 23, 2011
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  2. Depressed

    butchiesmom JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    I'd say you're too young to be this depressed but depression knows no age limits. I know how it feels to be stuck in one place and thinking that you'll have to 'settle' for the little you can get in life there but there's so much in this world to strive for!

    We have several saying in my family but my favorites are 'making lemonade' and 'it could be worse'. Trust me when I say it could be so much worse!

    Paraphrasing MsJ, stop and smell the roses, lol. I had a therapist who had me write down five good things that happened to me every day. When I took my lists to my next appointment I complained about how hard it was to find them but she pointed out that I could.

    Look for the little things that count and save the money to leave somehow. That smile isn't as far away from you than you think it is. There are so many good people in this world and I'm counting you as one of them.

    Sending you huge bear hugs!
    Gail

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