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    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    Sonnet Of The Fay

    I ask you, have you ever glimpsed the Fay,
    At twilight when they frolic in the wood,
    Between the dark and light at close of day?
    Because, if not, I surely think you should.
    A visual of a fairy leaves you changed,
    The moment they are viewed a morph shall start
    Your life will suddenly be rearranged,
    As a warm buoyancy lifts up your heart.
    But hark ye this, the fairies must not see
    You lurking, or your plans will go awry.
    Magic protects the Fay from you and me,
    Upon their gaze we instantly would die.
    Fear not Earthling, when fairies dance, they sing,
    And when they sing, they cannot see a thing.

    Sartor
    8-9-2007


    Posted By Sartor | Aug 14, 2007
    #1

    Moonchild Moon Goddess of Whispers

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    I love Sonnets and this is a well crafted one Sartor.
    Good content that held my attention cause
    I love Fae's and great closing couplets.
    It's very magical and was a fun read, I very much enjoyed
    and I love it, thanks for sharing!


    Posted By Moonchild | Aug 15, 2007
    #2

    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    Thanks for the sweet comment MoonChild.....I appreciate your words.


    Posted By Sartor | Aug 16, 2007
    #3

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    This is just beautiful Sartor. Well crafted as Moon child said. I love the woods as setting and that whole magical realm that exists where fairies mingle - all so well suited to iambic pentimeter. I was very drawn into this - read it several times.


    Posted By JolieH | Aug 19, 2007
    #4

    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    Jolie.........thanks for the warm remarks. You may be interested in the two changes I made in my final revision to the poem, as follows:

    Sonnet Of The Fay

    I ask you, have you ever glimpsed the Fay,
    At twilight when they frolic in the wood,
    Between the dark and light at close of day?
    Because, if not, I surely think you should.
    A vision of a fairy leaves you changed,
    The moment they are viewed a morph shall start.
    No thoughts exist that you could be estranged,
    As a warm buoyancy lifts up your heart.
    But hark ye this, the fairies must not see
    You lurking, or your plans will go awry.
    Magic protects the Fay from you and me,
    Upon their gaze we instantly would die.
    Fear not Earthling, when fairies dance, they sing,
    And when they sing, they cannot see a thing.

    Sartor
    8-9-2007


    Posted By Sartor | Aug 20, 2007
    #5

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    The revision makes a big difference. I like it the first time, but this is much smoother.

    "No thoughts exist that you could be estranged," This sentence is more powerful than the original.

    Very Nice Sartor.


    Posted By JolieH | Aug 20, 2007
    #6

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