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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Spider Waltz and Sahara Sunset

    Spider Waltz

    Sweet Sustenance
    Geometric pearls
    Woven acrobatic silk
    Such graceful deceit.



    Sahara Sunset

    When cherubs wake
    Sienna glazed rays
    African moon painted breath
    Plays anthem upon clouds.


    **These are non-traditional, as a true Haiku is 5, 7, 5**

    Sebby JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    wow...I had to read them both about 3 times, they r both beautiful.
    When I can write like that I'll be happy


    Posted By Sebby | Jul 15, 2006
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    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Thank you so much Ms VS for taking time to read and to show love. I enjoyed writing these. I LOVE Haiku's, as one can reveal the beauty of classic poetry in such an infinitesimally structured format (5, 7, 5). Therefore, with Haiku's in mind, I composed these.
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    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    OK, yawl know by now, I am qwaazy....Can I comment on my own poems. LOL!!!! I love these, my favorite is "The Spider Walz". I could not help myself....:girltender:
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    I am loving that 1st haiku - non-traditional though it may be... Makes me think of a phrase I heard in a movie one time: "Such a beautiful smile she possess - such sweet deceit." I don't remember the movie - In fact I just made that up :yes:

    I want that haiku! I want to claim it for my own - That was such a beautiful write KIM - I said "Ooooo!" after reading it! Such is the beauty of such irony.

    The 2nd one is good too :p
    At anyrate - Thanx for sharing!

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jul 31, 2006
    #5
  5. Malnourished

    Ariono-jovan Labu Member

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    something for smile bout

    wonderful use of language in such a condense form regardless if not fitting perameters of traditional ku'. i enjoyed them both, although did favor the latter the 2, sahara sunset. keep the poems in steady rotation be plenty books to fill soon now. one-

    sagesweetwater Lesbian Novelist

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    I love ku's! Such few words for a million visions. Spider walz is right down home with me, Painted. First of all, to me, this ku is a metaphor for a trap laid so beautiful that it lures the prey. I design tarot cards. Tarot by Sage is a set of 28 cards. I have illustrated the Great Weaver card. The card is a geometric spider web and has like all of my other cards: MEDITATION, BEWARE, HIDDEN STRENGTH, HIDDEN WEAKNESS, SLANT, AND POWER. I have illustrated these cards from my novel BLUE CORN WOMAN. You may view these cards at this link:
    http://sagesweetwater.tripod.com/tarotbysage

    Painted, you have weaved a magnificent word painting from ku that reminds me of something I do...doublesock cornstarch and lightly hit the sock so the cornstarch powders an early morning spiderweb without disturbing it one bit to bring out the lines! It is a fabulous thing to do to study and paint with more definition and clarity...

    Sahara Sunset gives me a beautiful vision of a woman traveling across the Sahara atop a camel in a padded box to protect her from the viscious Harmattan winds blowing killer sand...and then the sun comes out and the angels awake for singing all of us poets on Cloud number 9 accompanied by the drumbeat of the African moon and the painted ladies...

    See how many visions one can derive from just a few lines of ku? Painted, I enjoyed these. I will be visiting again, I am your friend that paints outside the lines!

    Sage
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    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Thank you all for taking precious time to read my Haiku's and bless me with a comment. I love Haiku's, and we all share in the many intricate interpretations they convey in such a small space. Thank you soooo much.

    Much Luv'...~*Painted Diary*~aka~*Kimberly*~
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    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    :give_heart2: Dear Ms Sage,

    Your comments gave me pleasant visions of paintings that I may do. Thank you for the inspiration.

    Painted:girltender: :sign_thanks:

    Altree94 VIP Member

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    Hey PD! These are fantastic! Though both of them are excellently done, it was the imagery of the second one that really grabbed me because it brought both a feeling of awe at such beauty, yet at the same time, a feeling of peace.
    Great write, my friend! You've done it again!


    Posted By Altree94 | Oct 8, 2006
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  8. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Awww, thank you sooo much Tree for taking time to read and comment. I love ku's....and if I accomplished some peace for my dear friend...then that is all I need. Luv Ya'.....Painted!

    saxonshadow JPiC Contributor

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    Hi, Painted, I very much adore these short writes, but like you (lol) find the 5-7-5 too restrictive, good posts, Sax.
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    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Hi saxonshadow!!!!!!! Thank you soo much for taking time to read and comment. I am glad you enjoyed the posts. I am addicted to watching your bunny hop in your avatar, I love it!! LOL!!! Take Care.

    Painted:yes:
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    interesting Comment SAXON! - I don't think the 5-7-5 is restrictive - I think it's anal LOL - but so much wisdom can be said/learned/earned/read in so few syllables - the haiku wastes none :p

    Jacquii.
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    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    LOL, thank you both for taking time read and comment on my ku's.

    Painted ;)

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