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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Closet_Writer Pro-Ninja

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    Student
    By L. E. Evenston

    Student
    Pounding the truths,
    Developing the lies,
    Making us live in blinded lives.
    Deceived

    Student
    Longing for time
    That was pulled from the arts;
    No longer having all the parts
    Denied

    Student
    Sent among fools
    Forced to follow “Leader”-
    The creative bottom-feeder
    Debased

    Student
    Just can’t take this,
    Living with constant pang
    Pulling back, ending with a bang
    Dead

    Alright, a bit of info about it so you don't get too lost. The last stanza/cinquain thing is supposed to only have one syllable on the last line. 'cause it died… therefore it’s unfinished? I don’t know. My English teacher would assume symbolism.

    So anyway, my school is seriously under funded and unless enough people vote to increase property tax to get us more money, fine arts will be cut out of the program. (I know, it’s horrible! I’m writing to Oprah about it.)

    Therefore, in response, I wrote this. I don’t know what I’ll do with it… but I wrote it so therefore I am happy…

    The rest is put in a spoiler mark, in case you don’t want to hear it. It’s just me telling what my little phrases mean.


    The “creative bottom-feeder” is “Leader”, and he eats up all creative energy and he’s a low life fish. So there.

    “No longer having all the parts” is about my choir teacher. If they cut her class, they’re going to have to cut her too, without officially ‘firing’ her.

    “Sent among fools” is how I feel every day with the uncreative, unmotivated, imbecilic fools that I’m forced to spend time with.

    And the end is a warning saying that there will be a lot more problems if Fine Arts is cut. Suicide is just one of them. Drugs, gangs, drop-outs, teen pregnancy, etc.

    And since I’m jumping around anyway… the first stanza/cinquain thing is because our school board lied to us and said they were going to wait until after the voting before cutting clubs… they didn’t wait. They were all already cut even without seeing if they would get funding for it. How pessimistic is that?

    The End. ^.^

  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Closet_Writer :giftrose:,

    :wow: This was some Cinquain! It was full of truth, fire, strength, and a message. It is appalling that the school board lied, and that the programs were cut. The Fine Arts is what kept me alive inside when I was your age. So the power behind your words are felt to the nth degree, and I could not agree more. Thank you for the spoiler as I read that as well. This was excellently written, and beautifully executed. I am glad you are doing something about it in voice, scribing about it, and writing to Oprah. Hopefully, something can be done, and I back you 2000%!!!!! I am a Science Teacher, and write, and do artwork as well. The arts are the escape one needs, the pleasure one yearns, the healing one can provide, the words one may lean on, the dance that feels our hearts, and the way to make memories last. This made me misty Closet_Writer, and I thank you for educating us, and sharing a bit of your experience in your world.

    {{{~~**PAINTED**~~}}}

    mistyllspoetry Billy Corgan's Shadow

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    This poem ends sad
    but it follows the life
    as we know in schools.
    A lot of killings go on
    in schools. It explains
    a student can be going
    through the day and then
    gone in a flash.

    Closet_Writer Pro-Ninja

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    Thanks, you two, for the comments! ^.^
    I know it ends sad. A lot of my stuff does. I am trying to make more of it happy, though, with my odd sort of view in it, which is hard 'cause I'm all macabre about things.
    Which is fun! ^.^

    Benny New Member

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    Very insightful work! Yes, it does express deeply felt feelings of youth gazing at a life before them that needs to be righted...I hope they find a way to do it...everyone else seems to have forgotten that fire of youth once they grow older and older...lol. Bummer. Either way, well done and thank you for posting.


    Posted By Benny | Apr 8, 2007
    #5

    Closet_Writer Pro-Ninja

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    Thanks for commenting, Benny! You're quite awesome for doing so ^.^

    Altree94 VIP Member

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    Great Write, Bri! TY for the remarks and the spoiler too!
    You go, girl! That is something worth fighting for!
    Write to Dr. Phil too - He's probably already got all the statistics and comparisons between schools that have programs like that and the ones that don't and those comparisons will show what kind of trouble your school is asking for!
    - Tree.


    Posted By Altree94 | Apr 9, 2007
    #7

    Closet_Writer Pro-Ninja

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    That'd rock.. We could get both of them working together on it!

    Think of the new era we will bring upon people! "Oprah and Phil!" It'll be like, getting paid to recieve advice! ^.^

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