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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Phonoho Honest Critic

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    Heard
    Your words
    But dismiss
    The lies you spake,
    I tire of hearing all the noise you make.

    Guile is fearing the call your voices fake,
    My soul you take
    And nothing
    More is
    Stirred.

    Third
    In turn,
    A cuckhold
    Whose heart you break,
    Have slept too long but now am wide awake.
    __________________


    Posted By Phonoho | Aug 12, 2007
    #1

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    What poor man's nest your wife has layed her eggs?

    A well crafted poem - admirer of the great Will Shakespeare I presume?


    Posted By JolieH | Aug 12, 2007
    #2

    Moonchild Moon Goddess of Whispers

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    Perfect form and good content.
    This is really good work, enjoyed!
    Thanks for sharing :)


    Posted By Moonchild | Aug 13, 2007
    #3

    Phonoho Honest Critic

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    Thank you for reading. This was one of my closed form challenge entries on another forum. I sometimes use variations of this form, altering the syllable count.
    Yes, I am a fan of Willy, though I don't try to imitate his style.


    Posted By Phonoho | Aug 13, 2007
    #4

    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

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    James,

    This short poem carries quite a punch. The words have been carefully crafted and bring the reader easily to its conclusion. My Fav:

    and alas, you and your reader are freed!

    Wonderful!

    Jerry
  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Phono,

    I really loved this. In its brevity is a volume of truth and a message unfolds. Great write here you have. Truly a lovely piece. Thank you for sharing. An excellent rating!

    Kim :)

    Phonoho Honest Critic

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    Heard
    Your words
    But dismiss
    The lies you spake,
    I tire of hearing all the noise you make.

    Guile is fearing the call your voices fake,
    My soul you take
    And nothing
    More is
    Stirred.
    Third
    In turn,
    A cuckhold
    Whose heart you break,
    Have slept too long but now am wide awake.

    This is how it was formatted originally. Non-traditional, I know, but I felt it represented a movement away from darkness and deceipt, toward light and awareness.
    Thank you, Jerry.


    Posted By Phonoho | Aug 15, 2007
    #7

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