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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


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    Terence Member

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    That one night

    He lies there, smiling sweetly, resplendent
    in his manliness; his mysteries
    dissolving, slowly, in my gaze.
    His understanding and warmth
    have reawakened all my
    sensitivities.
    Though forbidden,
    I can’t help
    loving
    him

    Her
    eyes shine
    with the glow
    of love released.
    Passions, once alive
    and unrelenting, now
    resurfacing in a flood
    of senses overflowing the
    edges of ecstasy; only to be
    subdued again – but never forgotten.


    Posted By Terence | Sep 10, 2007
    #1

  1. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Brilliant Terence!! I am loving this piece...like two halves of a whole, they combine perfectly, romantically, and aesthetically.

    Simply exquisite work.

    Nomad

    Terence Member

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    Hi Therese, I appreciate you words very much. I started with 'him' and 'her', then it was just a matter of putting the two together, and adding a bit of spicy intrigue of course.

    Thanks, Terence


    Posted By Terence | Sep 12, 2007
    #3

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    Great idea, I like the hour glass form, and how they meet were the sands of time sift between them.


    Posted By JolieH | Sep 13, 2007
    #4
  2. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Wonderful Terence A beautiful depiction of love.

    Mysty


    Posted By Mysty | Sep 13, 2007
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    Terence Member

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    Hi Jolie, an interesting take on the shape. The Ethere form, with syllable count going from 1 through 10 on each line, lends itself to the pyramid shape. I had another reason for this shape but yours is equally appropriate. Thanks for the reply.


    Thanks, Mysty, I'm pleased you liked it. Your words are appreciated.

    Terence


    Posted By Terence | Sep 14, 2007
    #6
  3. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Hi TERENCE - very nice poem - As MS N says - I like the way even the words look like 2 parts of the whole... It's like an hour glass - like the ying and yang - epitomizing a fantasy of love perhaps...

    My favorite lines is at the pinnacle perhaps:

    Beautiful sentiments make for a heartfelt tribute/ode to love, even though the last line leaves a pessimistic feeling: subdued again – but never forgotten. Perhaps such is the feeling one has whilst in the midst of one-night-stand.

    At anyrate - a very nice Ethere poem.
    Thanx for the sharing ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Sep 14, 2007
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    Terence Member

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    Hi Ms Jacquii,
    I really appreciate your thoughts. If you scratch the surface a little, particularly all 9 lines you quote, you may find there is more to the story than just a random one-night-stand, or maybe not if I haven't expressed myself well enough.

    Thanks, Terence


    Posted By Terence | Sep 14, 2007
    #8
  4. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    LOL - I actually not only read the lines but I embraced them - It seems like a reverie that I am used to - only I didn't too much get to say goodbye....

    Yet....

    At anyrate - a very lovely poem - it's sad as your heroine seems to be the one with the tear in her eye.

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Sep 15, 2007
    #9

    Terence Member

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    Hi Jacquii,
    Coming back to this, I've been away a while, as you say, it does seem to me now as though it is the female who has all the regret. That could get me in trouble. I really appreciate your feminine viewpoint and intuitiveness.

    Terence


    Posted By Terence | Oct 20, 2007
    #10

    Smiley24_7 NOOB

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    This is incredibly beautiful.
    There is so much detail and imagery in it. You capture so many emotions that many people overlook. I could picture the entire thing in my mind.

    Congratulations on a wonderful piece.


    Joy

    zaac Banned

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    dont know why i'm diggin this so much, but I do. has a nice vibe.

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Oct 21, 2007
    #12

    Terence Member

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    Thank you so much, Joy. You are quite insightful about other's poetry as well as in your own.


    Hi David, perhaps it is because you are a fellow Gemini and like the dual perspective? Thank you for your comments, gut reactions are good to go by.

    Terence


    Posted By Terence | Oct 21, 2007
    #13
  5. Digging it

    JONATHAN living not existing.

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    I havent seen ure stuff bfore but then again I havent been on for some time now ... Well Im into soft sensual poetry and ure stuff meets all the expectations that I hav from this genre and exceeds them .. love the way , Uve so beautifully merged the male and female love flow into one ... great work bro ..Chester


    Posted By JONATHAN | Oct 22, 2007
    #14

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