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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    mrsmajor New Member

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    Misty mornings dew drops falling.
    Gently touching all the flora.
    Soon buds open, sun their calling.
    Sun, to warm the chill of bora.

    Gently touching all the flora.
    Verdant velvet leaves glistening.
    Sun, to warm the chill of bora.
    Scents do add to nature's flavoring.

    Verdant velvet leaves glistening.
    Adding to the beauteous show.
    Scents do add to nature's flavoring.
    Array of vivid colors grow.

    Adding to the beauteous show.
    Soon buds open sun their calling
    Array of vivid colors grow.
    Misty mornings dew drops falling.


    Posted By mrsmajor | Apr 20, 2008
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    SarahNSH New Member

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    Hello!

    This is a really nice, descriptive poem about nature. I enjoyed the imagery that you used with it right in the beginning which grabbed my attention... plus, I am a big nature person and lots of the poetry I write focuses on Nature and how to look at it in different ways.

    One of my favorite lines in this poem was: "Scents do add to nature's flavoring.
    Array of vivid colors grow." I just like how you say that the scents do add to nature's flavoring... I never thought of nature's scents having a certain flavor to it and that is a great new way to look at things when I'm outside smelling flowers or the grass and I think that it works well as a descriptor too.

    Anywho, I think you did a great job, keep it up!


    Posted By SarahNSH | Apr 21, 2008
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    mrsmajor New Member

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    Thank you so very much, SarahNSH, for that very kind review and comments, I appreciate every word.

    To me nature can be a wonderful way to tell about a persons feeling as regards the nature all around us. I think sometimes we take things for granted, and don't take the time to smell the roses....

    I live in Florida and every time of the year there is always something green to enjoy or some flowers to bring inside...

    In this poem I used the Pantoum Form and I did find it perfect for this piece.

    I thank you again, and I will be looking at your pieces too.


    Posted By mrsmajor | Apr 21, 2008
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  1. Depressed

    butchiesmom JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    I like this poem. I know it's a specific form because I've seen it before, but don't remember exactly what but do like it because it repeats the second and fourth lines of the stanza above in the first and third lines, pretty cool, if you ask me, lol.

    I also love the subject and the way you handled it, the morning dew and its effect on the surrounding flora. There was a place which made one line unclear. Since you repeated that line in the next stanza, I could see it was probably a typo. I've bolded and corrected it above.

    You did a great job, mrsmajor.
    Gail

    mountainpepper Member

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    G'day mrsmajor...
    Well structured written with good visual effects...well done.

    Lindsay

    mrsmajor New Member

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    Thank you very much for those kind comments. I appreciate every word.
    Have a wonderful day...


    Posted By mrsmajor | Apr 24, 2008
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    mrsmajor New Member

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    Thank you very much for your very kind review and comments. I appreciate every word. Also thanks for the correction, it should have been chill. This is a Poem using the Pantoum form of poetry writing. it is a form that originated in Malasian and was adapted by the French. It requires the repetition. I like traditional forms..

    Thanks again, have a good day.


    Posted By mrsmajor | Apr 24, 2008
    #7

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