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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


  1. Cheerful

    Sealiah Poetic Dancer

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    Listen to this tale I tell
    Hear the lesson found within
    Listen well to what I say and
    To this tale of which I spin.

    Her hair was red as sunset
    Her eyes were bright as day
    Her lips were made of petals
    Far too soft for me to say.

    She traveled East to West
    Was worshipped far and wide
    But one fault did she have
    She was lonely deep inside.

    Until one journey she did find
    A man with eyes like night
    His skin was pale as marble
    And his arms were filled with might.

    Forbidden was this tryst
    Yet still they met again
    Day and Night-Night and Day
    Til a child’s born within

    “Dusk they named her
    Beauty dark
    Her presence shown
    With song of lark

    Stuck between
    Both night and day
    Mother and Father
    Thus dusk is made."

    -------------------------------

    This was...well.. an experiment.


    Posted By Sealiah | Sep 8, 2006
    #1

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    nice, I like the explanation very mystical qualities to this poem and I really liked it
  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Sealiah,

    I loved this. This read so pure and innocent like a "Fairy Tale". Had those feel good whimsical and mysterious (almost imaginary) qualities that I love. The flow of the poem was really nice and the story quite lovely. I am still smiling. Thank you for sharing this poem. Take Care. Much Luv.....

    Kimberly aka Painted Diary :yes:

    saxonshadow JPiC Contributor

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    Hi, Sealiah, as you know (or should lol) I am quite new here so I only found this piece by chance (otherwise known as trolling lol) it is a very lovely piece and one well worth sticking with (imho) it is certainly most original and more than pleasing to read, personally... I would make some alterations to its close but that may well be just my choice, really good work I say, Sax.

    Benny New Member

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    I love this! I always wondered just how we got to have a dusk anyway...lol
    I like your explanation much better...and it has a wonderful flow and imagery.


    Posted By Benny | Oct 22, 2006
    #5
  3. Cheerful

    Sealiah Poetic Dancer

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    Well thanks Benny. As has been mentioned, I really need to change the closing. It's too abrupt. Rushed. But overall, I do like this poem.


    Posted By Sealiah | Oct 23, 2006
    #6

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