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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    ¤Me¤ New Member

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    Swimming in a pool of broken glass,
    If I may go through,
    and pass,
    Still my lungs would be full of boiling water,
    And my tears sheding as acid.

    Standing in a room,
    I feel a hand down on my shoulder.
    For I see, nothing but the gloom,
    My eyes are heavy with one single tear,
    And my hands are getting colder,
    Instead of the doom.

    The walls, the door is missing,
    And the windows shut with bars,
    It is cold, no words are finding,
    A place to stay to, seeking stars.

    Everytime I see you,
    I feel like a reflection.
    You look at me like I am a photograph.
    Nothing between us, no emotion nor smile.
    Breaking the mirror would now be worthwhile.


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | Apr 28, 2007
    #1

    Tanax Member

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    My dear baby sis :)
    This is a really good poem! I love this last stanza, and it just really sums up the feelings boiling inside this piece of text just waiting to be understood.

    This is a sad poem =/ But still a very good one!
    You've always been good with words, damn.. you're 13, and you have a bigger vocabulary than me, 17 :( :p

    I love reading your poems :)


    Posted By Tanax | Apr 28, 2007
    #2

    ¤Me¤ New Member

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    Thanks Tan. You're four years older,that isnt THAT much ;)


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | Apr 28, 2007
    #3

    Tanax Member

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    And yet you write with the maturity of a 25 year old.


    Posted By Tanax | Apr 28, 2007
    #4
  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Me,

    You have left me speechless again! This was incredible! I will be back to properly comment. Just :wow:

    {{{{~~~***PD***~~~}}}}:)
  2. Cheerful

    Sealiah Poetic Dancer

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    I have always been fascinated with Mirrors. The very concept of them. So I admit, to see them from this light was utterly captivating. Congratulations! I tip my hat to you.


    Posted By Sealiah | May 15, 2007
    #6
  3. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    ME!!!

    :wow: is not the word! You drag SUCH a deep emotive response out of me with your poetry...it tunnels so deep into your bowels and churns it up...

    Everytime I see you,
    I feel like a reflection.
    You look at me like I am a photograph.
    Nothing between us, no emotion nor smile.
    Breaking the mirror would now be worthwhile.


    I really love this last stanza...I feel it stands on it's own...as it's own poem. It says volumes, on which I could write paragraphs, I'm sure, but I'll just say "Excellent imagery"!

    LOVED IT!! :yay:
    (definitely a 5 star rating on this one)

    Nomad
  4. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Yeah ME - that last line is extra poignant. It's like the emotion has built up - There's nothing but a rock, a mirror & self --- You pick up the rock and sling it at the mirror...

    Piece of a shattered heart.
    Interesting poem. Thanx for the sharing ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | May 31, 2007
    #8

    ¤Me¤ New Member

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    Thank you for the comments. Both Jacquii and Nomad. I really don't know what to say, everytime I even write any poem, I just feel like it is actually nothing but a insane line of my words. Hearing comments like these makes me feel differently. Thank you for that.


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | Jun 1, 2007
    #9

    KayaOtah happy as ever

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    Great poem, my fav:

    You look at me like I am a photograph.
    Nothing between us, no emotion nor smile.
    Breaking the mirror would now be worthwhile.


    Posted By KayaOtah | Aug 10, 2007
    #10

    ¤Me¤ New Member

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    Thanks for the comment Kaya :)


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | Aug 11, 2007
    #11
  5. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    But you know ME..... This poem of yours has really epitomized poetry and your comment... That's what poetry is! Some would call it insane rambling, others have called it the most poignant rambling of insanity in the best possibly language imaginable.

    I just re-read your poem - It is quite amazing! Very well done!
    There is actually some poems that you "feel" and it's better than an orgasm because you can totally and completely relate to the insanity of it. It's not many that do it for me, but your poem did! Again - I say thanx for the sharing ;)

    Jacquii.

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