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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Mr. Monster Just some dude.

    Member Since:
    Jan 16, 2007
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    The Monster stalks,
    My Mind screams out,
    "My dear God,
    what have you done?"
    The Stone sits proud,
    The Sword still gleams,
    but the Wizard sighs,
    "still No one came."
    The Blood that flows,
    the Tears that fall,
    Are all for Naught,
    You've Damned us all!
    But still we Fight,
    At our Death we laugh,
    The Hammer held,
    Lightning strikes!
    Still the Monster stalks,
    But I no longer run,
    As I fight,
    The Reaper waits.

    alanmdouglas ALAN the JPiCan of Grumps Royalty

    Member Since:
    Aug 28, 2006
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    Semi-crit ?

    Dear MM,

    Not at all a bad attempt, tho I would prefer it if the random Capitals were removed.

    I think it would also gain quite a lot of strength from being made into strict 4-syll lines.

    Hope you don't mind the comments, it's cuz I like it, alost !

    Love
    Alan

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