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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Terence Member

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    The raven cast its baleful eye
    across the congregation
    and when he flew above their heads
    they stopped their supplication.

    Cor blimey,” said the startled priest,
    “‘tis Satan’s manifestation.
    Bear no heed my brethren
    I’ll scare off this abomination.”

    With Book in hand and stalwart heart,
    he started an incantation
    which shook the raven to the core
    and filled him with trepidation.

    Our raven flew between the pews
    at the words of his invocation
    strewing candles like bowling pins -
    fierce grew the conflagration.

    But happily the church was saved -
    a hot topic of conversation –
    for it was due to prayers by the corps
    of the Army of Salvation.


    Posted By Terence | Oct 25, 2007
    #1

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

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    Terence,

    I like the visual here. I've never heard of Satan appearing as a Raven in a church. This is very cool. I like the language use - Cor Blimey. You must say that in England. Did you make this up, or is related to something I am unaware of.


    Posted By JolieH | Oct 25, 2007
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    Terence Member

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    Hi Jolie,

    You're right, this was a fun piece I wanted to call 'The Raven' but Poe beat me to that title. As someone else has pointed out, perhaps I should have called it 'Candlemass'. The 'en-core' was also an essential part.
    'Cor Blimey' is an English euphemism for the oath 'God blind me'. Probably not heard much these days.

    Thanks for your interest, Terence


    Posted By Terence | Oct 25, 2007
    #3
  1. Cheeky

    lasher Member

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    Hey now Terence,

    Yeah, I liked this.. One could almost sing this - 'tis lyrical indeed...
    Good flow, good topic, good wording - good, good, good........
    Great job T...


    Posted By lasher | Oct 25, 2007
    #4
  2. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    :wow: ---- My Mama actually volunteers for the Salvation Army (((literally))) She actually went to the Salvation Army Church for a good period of time.... The Church was closed down.

    Hey TERENCE - I think your poem is a lovely poem which speaks of perservering throughout the tribulation brought on by DEMONS meaning noone any good except for themselves (and not even themselves because the evil is so thick, blantantly so that tribulation never even enters the mind of such horrid and blatant and thick evil....)

    I applaud you for this poem as the evil of ugh battles to come against my very own mind... Thing is - I understand the very principle of persevering - I actually live in a neighborhood so fondly called "The Valley" :LOL: ---- At anyrate - I liked the unforced rhyme scheme and rhythm of your poem.

    Very nice share = Thanx ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Oct 25, 2007
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    Terence Member

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    You're so right, MsJ, there is a lot of malevolence in the world today - mostly religious and political (what's new?) - and Goodness will come through in the end. My poem alludes to recent events in San Francisco, but applies universally.

    Thank you for your voice.


    Posted By Terence | Oct 27, 2007
    #6

    Aumakua Misunderstood

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    Good versus evil!!!! Awesome! Though i never really thought the Raven was evil... i like it o.o'' But i also really liked this poem too ^_^ Something about it caught me... i don't know what though o_O


    Posted By Aumakua | Nov 3, 2007
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    BekiLynn New Member

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    fresh rhymes and clever twist at the end


    Posted By BekiLynn | Nov 15, 2007
    #8

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