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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    H.H.Hobsing New Member

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    I wrote this in response to the thought question I was emailed asking 'Where Do You Spend Most of Your Time When Your Awake?' I figured most people would respond with a physical place, but I took it a different direction. Please let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is welcome.


    I spend.
    Days inside my Head, Heart.
    Perception, you're my world
    Vast and complicated.
    Brain's abstract art

    I slave.
    Mind deriving meaning
    In no meaning to it.
    Process apart of me
    A part seeming.

    I blend.
    Beauty in the hundreds,
    Schedule-driven students
    Oblivious, focused.
    Grades made sacred.

    I cave.
    Beauty miraculously
    Ignored. Yet, gracefully
    The sun twirling shadows
    Generously.

    I lend.
    Sharing loves reflection,
    Indiscriminately,
    Fountain's foundation of
    Introception.

    I save.
    From life's unexplained start
    A single smile subdues all
    Uncertainties stifling
    Upon the heart.


    - Hobsing

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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Nice write. And yes a little bit of a different approach to answering the age old question. Creative. I loved the very last stanza. I posted something earlier...

    So reading the last stanza made me smile- Thanks for that and thanks for sharing your poem with us.

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | May 20, 2011
    #2

    fafsterfish New Member

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    Awesome poem, i love it. Sort of reminds me of myself.
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    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    This is a lovely write, HH. I spend, I slave, I blend, I cave, I lend, I save…. Very “me” focused which almost makes me picture you sitting somewhere quiet like on a beach, just exploring your mind, but the 3rd stanza puts you in a college setting perhaps? Great twist on the subject.

    I spend.
    Days inside my Head, Heart.
    Perception, you're my world
    Vast and complicated.
    Brain's abstract art


    This first stanza is my favorite because it sets the whole poem and shows the depth of exploration and realization of the unending pathways we can wind through in our brains, and never seemingly come to any determination one way or another… fascination subject.
    Nomad :beach:

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