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    Altree94 VIP Member

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    KYRIELLE - A French form of rhyming poetry in which a line or a phrase is repeated. The repeating phrase is usually (but not necessarily so) the last line of each stanza. Most common rhyme scheme is aabB, ccbB, ddbB with B as the repeating phrase. Although the rhyme scheme is up to the poet, this form MUST have 8 syllables per line and there must be a MINIMUM of 3 stanzas.



    Thunder's Journey


    There was no moon, no stars that night
    to give the weary walker light.
    Through the dark he slowly fumbled.
    In the distance, thunder rumbled.

    Hoping to reach the inn before
    the rain came down, he hurried more.
    In his rush, he slipped and stumbled.
    Closer now, the thunder rumbled.

    Headfirst he went into the ditch,
    because the night was black as pitch.
    Underfoot, the path had crumbled.
    Overhead, the thunder rumbled.

    The sky was split with light'ning streaks,
    both rain and tears rolled down his cheeks.
    By nature's wrath, he was humbled.
    All around, the thunder rumbled.


    Posted By Altree94 | Sep 4, 2006
    #1

    alanmdouglas ALAN the JPiCan of Grumps Royalty

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    Dear Tree,

    Very good, good build-up of tension.

    But, have I commented somewhere else on this one ?

    Love
    Alan
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Nope - JPiC lost no info/posts during the "shutdown" :p
    ------------
    ------------

    Anyway - nice poem TREE - very original - kinda sad though I tend to wonder who is the object of the sadness: the moon or the weary traveler?

    At anyrate - nice share - Thanx!

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Oct 20, 2006
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    Abae New Member

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    Great write, thunder
    rattles the depths of
    us all.

    Thanks for the read.


    Posted By Abae | Oct 22, 2006
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    Altree94 VIP Member

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    Thank-you Abae! It isn't just us who get rattled by thunder, my 4 dogs all try to dive under the bed too! LOL!
    TY for your comments, much appreciated!

    -Tree.


    Posted By Altree94 | Oct 25, 2006
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    lanaia74 New Member

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    Totally AWESOME!


    Posted By lanaia74 | Oct 25, 2006
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    Altree94 VIP Member

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    TY Lanaia!
    Sounds like you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! Give some of these different styles a try - they are really fun to do!
    Thanks again!


    Posted By Altree94 | Oct 26, 2006
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Oooops - Additional Comments???

    My apologies to MS TREE!
    This thread originally had additional comments. I'm not totally sure where the hell they are though. **strange shudder** It seems that STARRY, PAINTEDDIARY, ALAN & MSJACQUIIC have previously commented on this very eloquently written piece. We've been able to save Tree's responses to those comments and they are below:




    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Oct 27, 2006
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    Benny New Member

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    Love this work, muse! Builds nicely and kept me anticipating the next line...wonderful!


    Posted By Benny | Oct 29, 2006
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    Altree94 VIP Member

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    Hello Benny!
    I kept you anticipating the next line???!!!! TY, TY, TY!!!
    That is high praise indeed, and I Thank you sincerely for it!
    One of my worst fears about writing is boring my readers!
    I don't think I've done that yet, but there is a first time for everything!


    Posted By Altree94 | Oct 29, 2006
    #10

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