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Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Eric, Apr 13, 2008.



    Eric New Member

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    Tragedy of leaves
    falling
    silent

    Falling
    with a whisper
    of parchment thin skin

    Falling
    soldier's felled
    by Autumn's fire

    Bleeding
    colors
    into the ground

    Falling
    brittle skin whispering
    the language of loss.


    Posted By Eric | Apr 13, 2008
    #1

  1. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Oh.... to put shut a spin on the beauty and glory of autumn. I think autumn is a leaf's time to really shine. They give such beauty and life with their short span of life. Then fall to be reborn come spring. You did this and it shows how you seem to feel autumn is a season of death. Well to each their own lol. I find autumn glorious .... I did like the way you made the poem flow ... your view is very interesting too. I love seeing how others view my favorite season. Thanks for sharing Eric.


    Mysty


    Posted By Mysty | Apr 13, 2008
    #2

    Flookyyy Flookyyy

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    I agree with Mysty - I like how you've given a different view of Autumn, contrasting with the stereotypical view of it. Nice work :)

    Flook x


    Posted By Flookyyy | Apr 13, 2008
    #3

    Eric New Member

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    Mysty,

    Autumn is my favorite time of your as well, I love all the color and vibrancy of Autumn but, this was not that kind of poem. Just a somber take on Autumn. My poem reflects certain moods at certain times and I go where they take me. Thank you for your comments, I do appreciate them.

    Eric
    --------------------------
    --------------------------
    Thank you for your comments, I appreciate them, they are what help me grow as an artist and student of the word.


    Posted By Eric | Apr 13, 2008
    #4

    Eric New Member

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    Dear Flook,
    Would love to write a poem for and about you, you are a poem in and of yourself.


    Posted By Eric | Apr 13, 2008
    #5

    Flookyyy Flookyyy

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    I don't know whether to be flattered... Care to elaborate on that?

    Flook x


    Posted By Flookyyy | Apr 14, 2008
    #6

    Eric New Member

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    Flook,
    I meant no offense, I was referring to the picture on your profile. You have very soulful, magic eyes. I hope that I did not offend you that was not my intention at all. I write what I see and I see a poem in your face and eyes.


    Eric (Ravenwing)


    Posted By Eric | Apr 14, 2008
    #7
  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Eric,

    This is something here. I see the experimentation and also bordering on abstract (which I love as well). You took the season of Autumn and with a spin scribed a somber side to the usually looked upon beautiful bright-colored leaves and etc. vision. I love this and it is going into my favorites!

    That title also is most fitting and a attention grabber! Love it...every word of it. Autumn is my favorite season as well.

    Kim :)

    Flookyyy Flookyyy

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    No no no, I knew you didn't mean it in offence... I'm extremely flattered, I just wanted to know what you meant in more detail.
    But again, I am highly flattered that you think this :) If you were to write a poem based on me, I would more than love to give my personal response on it.
    However, in no way am I pressurizing you to do so.
    Thank you again :)

    Flook x


    Posted By Flookyyy | Apr 15, 2008
    #9
  3. Depressed

    butchiesmom JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    I found the above lines to be the most vivid. Watching the leaves falling to the ground like soldiers falling from gun fire, their blood staining the earth as they slowly die! Love it!

    I have one question. In this line...soldier's felled...you have soldier's which is a possessive pronoun. Did you mean to say ...soldiers, which would be a multiple meaning many soldiers falling?

    hugs,
    Gail

    Eric New Member

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    Dear Flook,

    I will gaze at your picture and see what I can come up with, am moving to N.C. on thursday and am quite busy with that. But I will post one just for you soon. I look forward to your personal opinion. I would be honored to write one for you.

    Eric


    Posted By Eric | Apr 16, 2008
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    solo New Member

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    eric i love this poem!!!!.....it works ...it does...:)


    Posted By solo | Apr 16, 2008
    #12

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