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    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Tanax Member

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    -To be Accepted- Rhyming

    To be Accepted
    About Myself


    To describe my life in words, wouldn't be the easiest thing to write.
    My fighting, loving, losses, dreams, no; my life haven't been right.

    It's not fair, of course nothing is, but my life is everything else BUT fair,
    everyone saw me as a nobody, they didn't show anything similar to care.

    I'll have to admit, I've been on the edge alot of times the latest year,
    and it's probably easier, when I don't care, I feel no fear.
    All I ever want in life, is someone to love, to cherish, to call "my dear",
    that's another dream that won't come true, as I'm sitting on my bed, dropping a tear.

    But I'm trying to catch up, to adjust, to fit in.
    Of course I'll be myself, but I'll try to hide it as best as I can.. within.

    New times arrived, new chances, and I WILL survive, I will move on in the life of my.
    I won't be a nobody, I won't be just anyone. I'll be myself as long as I live, untill the day I die.

    No, I'm not beautiful, I'm not cute, but I don't care, I don't want to be like a guy with his hair full of WAX.
    No, I promise you, this is NOT the last time you'll hear from me, I'm strong, I'm caring; I AM TANAX!


    Posted By Tanax | Jul 14, 2006
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    LW Barker New Member

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    Interesting poem. Many people today struggle to find their individual identity, and your poem brings this stuggle out in very precise form. I'll be looking for more of your work.

    LW Barker


    Posted By LW Barker | Jul 15, 2006
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    Sebby JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    I like it..it's sometimes hard to remember that men have these kind of thoughts and feelings too,
    U hear people like Glaria Gaynor, Arethra Franklin singing about inner strengh and the will to survive and be respected..it's refreshing to hear them from a male perspective too


    Posted By Sebby | Jul 15, 2006
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    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM TANAX!!!! I AM TANAX!!!!!! This was great!!!! Reminded me of my poem called I AM PAINTED DIARY!!!!!!! The world better watch out for us!!!!!!!!:aggressive: :orc:

    Tanax Member

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    Hell yea! We're dangerous! :D

    Thanks for support :)


    Posted By Tanax | Jul 16, 2006
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    TrueBlue New Member

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    To describe one's life is words IS very challenging. Especially since the meaning of events may come to change in the way you percieve it. I felt like a loner and an outsider in highschool mostly. And I was. But I think that that sort of situation [adversity] can give a person a lot of depth. Look at a lot of rock stars. Outsiders. Anyway of course we can't all be rock stars or famous poets. But the music, like poetry, can help make it through the challenges. I'm older now and my perceptions about highschool have changed somewhat. I like very much the strength in your poem. It says I may be a nobody to you [the popular kids] but I will triumph over my obstacles. I choose. I will be someone. You understand about inner strength. In this, I call your poem a beautiful thing.


    Posted By TrueBlue | Jul 24, 2006
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Always nice reading a self-affirmation piece - This speaks of an undying strength even through the most brutal of turmoil!

    Hey TANAX - I got to one stanza in particular, as I can definitely relate to the words that you've written:

    But I'm trying to catch up, to adjust, to fit in.
    Of course I'll be myself, but I'll try to hide it as best as I can.. within.


    First thought that came immediately to mind: "NO! No - don't ever try to hide it!"

    Releasing tension has never been a bad thing LOL... Anyway - I kinda just wanted to say AW and give you a hug, as this piece just screams LOVE ME - I'm a person too.

    AND as far as not being cute and stuff (had a very knowing laugh with the wax line :yes: ) You have shared some very beautiful words with the Community - And I for one am glad you have!

    Thanx!

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jul 31, 2006
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    Altree94 VIP Member

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    This was great! It may be YOUR life but it has something that everyone can relate to! I like how it starts out, gloomy and sad and then slowly builds up to positive, joyful climax! It is very inspiring to see someone with the courage and the confidence to say "Hey, I'm ME, I LIKE me and if you don't, that's YOUR problem!". Keep writing, Tanax - you've got some great potential!


    Posted By Altree94 | Aug 24, 2006
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    Amzy A friend, Well met.

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    Very powerful poem, Tanax. I'm liking it a lot. I would suggest changing the very last statement from "I'm TANAX" to "I AM TANAX". Losing the contraction strengthens the statement, and that is a strong statement.


    Posted By Amzy | Aug 25, 2006
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    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    it sjust seems odd to me that you emersed yourself so much in this identity, our poetry as of late shares some similarities, but I choose to be who I am in real life, because I have nothing to fear in that, Its seem syou have struggled long tanax and I feel this poem was good but I wouldn't lose side of who you are your abnormalities and insecurities are still part of YOURSELF

    Tanax Member

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    Thank you for your comments.
    I'm glad that so many of you, who have read it, is liking it.
    That really keeps me motivated to keep writing :)

    Thank you!

    Thank you Altree94 :D
    I'm also kind of proud that so many can relate to it.
    It really shows me that people out there in the world experienced the same.
    Again, thank you very much, and I will most definitly keep writing :)


    It's a really good suggestion.
    In fact, I'll do it straight away, because you are 100% correct.
    Thanks :D


    I know, but if I want to meet people I still gotta straighten up and become more forward, instead of this passive side I got right now.
    Thanks for your comment :)


    Posted By Tanax | Oct 14, 2006
    #11

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