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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    A melody haunting,
    does it change your mind?

    Long for feelings forgiveness,
    then bear witness to sinking further,

    delicate, whispered kisses,
    melt away,

    do you understand?
    I'm in the morning of failure,
    How can you expect more from me?
    If I could just stay here,
    I'd live in make-believe,

    delicate, whispered wishes,
    fall softly in an abyss,
    if they were to come true,
    you'd understand what this is,

    I want to heal your heart,
    so come over here and,
    let pain turn into pleasure,
    remove the cross you bare,

    Is it enough to make you understand?
    I'll always be there.

    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

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    Erik,

    Once again....I'm stunned......oh how you help the reader go where you want them.

    You have some very striking and luring verse here.

    My Fav:

    a powerful use of the English language

    Jerry


    Posted By Jer4clarity | Jul 1, 2007
    #2

    Sally Roberts Forestdawn

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    Goodness Erik:

    It reads so emotional.

    In reality you are in need of comfort and wanting to give comfort to "her." In the yearning to love.
    The healing process is within each others arms to make peace and heartache disappear and bring happiness to both hearts. Yet the distance is unreachable.

    Great read Erik!!
    Thanks for sharing
    Blessings

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    thanks Jerry,
    I just try to say my bit not really lead soemone anywhere but its great that I did,

    Sally,
    thats well put Sally but of course I'd expect you to get it, I usually do,

    thanks yous twos

    Sally Roberts Forestdawn

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    You're welcome Erik:

    When one writes in a way of understanding it's easy to interpret the depths within the writers words.

    Thanks for sharing
    Blessings

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    thanks Sally I should keep it up then

    Sally Roberts Forestdawn

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    Oh yes! most certainly!
    The more we write the better we become.
    The better we become, the easier the writing flows through our inner soul.
    And the inner soul brings the words to the foreground.

    Keep it up!!!
    Blessings

    Bear JPiC Contributor

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    awesome penning erik pure emotion written in every stanza and line
    handshakes
    bear


    Posted By Bear | Jul 1, 2007
    #8

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    okay sally I'll devote even more time to it then,

    thanks bear thats kind of you
  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Erik,

    Once again you tapped on the front door of a soul. Very poignant, Yes, I love the intricate weaving of words to illustrate the quantity and depth of that "place" you long for. That place being a safe place, and a place of well-being. However, being the person you are, you make sure that "you" are the safe haven, that comfort, for your loved one here. Another thing I loved (in my opinion) is that with the word-smithing, you let the audience, see and feel more of the longing, than you did with "your love" in the poem. Very nice.

    Kimberly :)

    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    thanks Kim word-smithing is fun,
    I don't even know its turns out this well
    I just try to get it out and down and if it ends up so many things then its a blessing,

    lovely review Kim

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