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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    mysticpoet729 The "Mystic" Poet

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    Untouchable

    Every time I see you.
    You always seemed bothered.
    You have something on your mind.
    But you choose not to grow a smile.
    You give people looks,
    You carry a melancholy tune.
    I see sadness in your eyes.
    And the coldness in your stance.
    Everybody steers away from you.
    Feeling you will strike at anytime.
    Giving out a roar,
    That fears anyone crossing your path.
    I don't know how you're feeling.
    I just know you are in pain.
    But you rather keep it inside.
    And let it burn through your heart.
    I've tried to show you love.
    But it isn't sinking in.
    I am afraid to even kiss you.
    Knowing you'll give me frostbite.
    You never see the tears,
    I have cried for you.
    Or see how twisted,
    I have become loving you.
    I have to say good-bye
    Because we will never be.
    Sincerely, I label you.
    Untouchable.

  1. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Fabiola - This one was written in the present tense, but almost seems more pensive, as if looking back on a life...a chapter already closed...and good riddance too, I say! That person described would be very hard to live with.

    Nomad

    Jeez Banned

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    Negative people just
    P^@@ me off.

    They think ya got
    nothing better to
    do, then listen to
    their could'a, should'a
    life.

    They spend all their
    times crying about
    their past.

    Even to those that
    put up with real
    disabilitys, hard
    times or problems.

    Those jerks need
    to go away to find
    their own sort.:beatup_pissed:


    Posted By Jeez | May 11, 2007
    #3

    Benny New Member

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    Very well written! Nuff said.


    Posted By Benny | May 11, 2007
    #4
  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Fabiola,

    :wow: This was amazing. What made it even more intense, is that this seems like a journey taken personally. One can feel the pain, the heartbreak, can see the tears, and can see the window from his view watching you walk away. A special component in this write is that in your expression of pain, you still acknowledge the pain of your partner by the following lines--->

    I don't know how you're feeling.
    I just know you are in pain.
    But you rather keep it inside.
    And let it burn through your heart.


    I think many can relate to this poem, as I know I can very much so, and can relate to both sides, having been there. Thank you for this write as it is beautifully executed, and the message etched. Awesome!

    Kim
  3. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Jun 8, 2006
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    Wow - talk about friggid FABIOLA - this was a tough write to let sink in... Sounds like me on Midol days --- Interesting how we have definitions of love - but when it comes to some - the definition is no more.

    Interesting write - Thanx for the sharing ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jun 1, 2007
    #6

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