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Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by SuzyQ, Oct 25, 2011.



    SuzyQ Member

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    Here's a little Halloween humor for you.

    Vampire Dreams

    Halloween is nearly here —
    'tis Vincent's favorite time of year.
    For on this night of wandering ghouls,
    he'll blend in with the costumed fools
    and traipse with them though leaves and mud,
    then choose his prey and suck their blood.

    But as the dusk gave way to night,
    Vince awoke in a state of fright.
    His coffin seemed so awfully snug,
    his bloodshot eyes like puffy slugs.
    He looked as bloated as roadkill.
    In fact, this vampire felt quite ill.

    Vince waddled down a dead end street
    as crackling leaves swirled round his feet.
    That's where he found to his surprise,
    a doc, no less, to victimize.
    This doctor who would be his prey
    told Vincent, "You must change your ways!"

    "You're over weight," the doctor sighed.
    "Your blood pressure is way too high.
    I've seen this sort of thing before,
    this sucking blood can be no more.
    Cholesterol is bad for you
    and Atkin's diet will not do.
    On cabbage soup, now you must feed.
    Take this pamphlet — be sure to read."

    Under the full moon, fangs were bared
    as Vincent stood with gaping stare.
    The doctor left him quite perplexed.
    Can vampires keep from biting necks?
    He looked down at his obese shape
    that bulged beneath his too-small cape.

    The doc's prescription, he now skimmed,
    this wonder soup to make him slim:
    Cabbage and garlic, quite a lot,
    holy water in a silver pot.
    Stir together with wooden stake,
    in bright sunlight, you must partake.

    Now Vince was feeling mighty weak,
    and pierced the darkness with his shriek.
    He then awoke in a state of fright.
    Oh, how these cursed bad dreams bite!
    He must remember to not ingest
    that type A blood before he rests.


    Posted By SuzyQ | Oct 25, 2011
    #1

    jakeminick McGonagall's Ghost

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    cool write. fun to read. funny. makes me think of some obese vampire that hangs out in alleys by buffets and eats too many fat guys. thanks for the entertainment.


    Posted By jakeminick | Feb 9, 2012
    #2

    SuzyQ Member

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    You're welcome, Jake. Thanks for leaving a comment. :)


    Posted By SuzyQ | Feb 17, 2012
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