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Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Juzjon, May 9, 2007.



    Juzjon New Member

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    The house is clean and spotless
    a smell of fresh baked bread
    the laundry is all folded
    her kids asleep in bed.

    He's way too late again
    it's typical you know
    as she waits on the sofa
    she thinks "I need to go"
    (walk away)

    A car out in the driveway
    she knows that slamming door
    something she has grown to dread
    a hundred times before

    He stumbles through the front door
    while kicking off his shoes
    from eighteen feet away
    she can smell the booze

    With slurring words he murmers
    "Honey, am I late?
    I can smell your dinner
    but I've already ate"

    I stopped by Manny's for a drink
    and all my buds were there
    Sorry that I didn't call
    I didn't think you'd care

    She bolts up from the sofa
    and runs in to the kitchen
    while crying out "This must stop"
    He shouts "Oh stop your Bitchin' "
    (walk away)

    You do this to me all the time
    You drink, and drink, and drink
    then come home with no remorse
    no guilt, and plus you stink

    With that he grabs her by the arm
    "How dare you F*ing C__T ! "
    she tries so hard to pull away
    His fist is hard and blunt

    She falls down to the kitchen floor
    and wipes her bloody nose
    he fumbles for the car keys
    and down the street he goes
    (walk away)

    She slowly opens bedroom doors
    her angels still sleep tight
    yet lonliness and heartache
    are her only friends tonight

    Breaking up is hard to do
    yet somehow God I pray
    bless her with the courage
    to simply.... "walk away"


    Posted By Juzjon | May 9, 2007
    #1

  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Juz,

    :wow::wow: This is playing in my mind, over and over, having gone through that. So vivid, so real life, and so raw, you scribe. I felt like I was there, and just wanted to reach in the screen to wipe the blood for the last time, and help them both. I felt the pain, the anguish, the sorrow, the prayer, the blow, and the hope. Hopefully "she" can "walk away", as there are so many that cannot. The key word at the end was courage, along with realizing there is help, self worth, and simply a hug, and ear, and let the tears just fall to cleanse. Thank you for sharing an issue that is very prevalent, and relevant. I would love to read more of your work! :bravo:

    {{{{{~~~***PAINTED***~~~}}}}}

    Benny New Member

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    You've presented this all to often truth very, very vividly to us. What a waste of loving and opportunity some people demand the right to toss away...a great tragedy played out across the land...and the world.
    This work made me sad...sad for those caught in the web of someone else's hell. Yes, it takes courage and strength to end this circle...


    Posted By Benny | May 18, 2007
    #3
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Hi JUZJON - :wow: indeed! Simply no love for the coward who with stale breath and the stench of hate in his eye, puts decrepid hand on woman.

    This poem brings back a lot of memories from a "less-than-perfect" childhood - Thing is - one must be ready to simply walk away. The atmosphere you describe can only be detrimental to those "angels still sleep tight"

    Harsh piece of reality in this poem.
    Thanx for the sharing AND again - Welcome to JPiC

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jun 1, 2007
    #4

    Sally Roberts Forestdawn

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    WOW! Juzjon:

    How surreal! Everyday things like this happen. I hope that she will have the courage to walk away and find peace of mind.

    I couldn't stop crying out for her. A superb reality poem in ever respect of the word.
    The depth was indeed never ending.

    Thank you for sharing this one. I gave it an excellent rating

    Blessings

    zaac Banned

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    i couldnt tell if this was a narrative or a story...very cool touch.

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Jun 1, 2007
    #6

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