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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

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    Wanted Again


    Scout eyes…
    clues of moist skin,
    Essence purely engaged
    Within indescribable mirth,
    Plush touch,

    A kiss.

    Secret
    Stolen moments
    Unbridled fantasies,
    both spirits intoxicated
    for once.

    Delicacies.

    Banquet
    Set unguarded
    By convention’s taunt gaze
    Or appropriate behaviors.
    Enjoyed.

    Not traded or bartered.

    Willing
    Window’s of souls
    Mesh like fine woven cloth.
    Trade fleeting infatuations,
    Wholly.


    Escape consent and soon take flight

    Confess.
    It’s not the time
    To embrace desertion
    Of melancholy commitments
    To sin,

    Again.

    Bear JPiC Contributor

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    simply elegant beauty written with your emotional spirit
    handshakes
    Bear


    Posted By Bear | Jun 17, 2007
    #2
  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Jerry,

    Where does one begin? To quote a favorite cinquain would be quoting the poem in its entirety. This is an exquisite woven tapestry of unspokens, fantasies, and stolen moments. The structure and layering are brilliant. The "Lines in between" introductions are amazing, carefully chosen, and placed precisely. The "pause" if you will, allows the reader to absorb your words and prepares the reader for the next beautiful cinquain. Simply stunning! Loved it! :bravothanx:
    An excellent rating!

    {{{***~~~KIM~~~***}}} ;)

    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

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    Bear thanks for reviewing and sharing your thoughts.

    Kim - Your comments were greatly appreciated and touching. Thanks for the excellent rating. The lines in between are a cinquain by their self and form a second conclusion to the poem.

    A kiss.
    Delicacies.
    Not traded or bartered.
    Escape consent and soon take flight,
    Again.

    hence the sixth cinquain!

    The question now is which path does the writer or reader take?

    Life will takes it course, regardless, and only the watcher knows.

    These are quite fun and challenging to write. Try one!

    Blessings!

    Jerry:spin:
  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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  3. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Jerry,

    I did not see that at first. :wow: I love when we twist, manipulate, and play with our craft in poetry. We can do so many exciting things with the forms if we are willing, if we get creative and etc.

    You stated that , Life will takes it course, regardless, and only the watcher knows, and I could not agree with you more!

    This was a brilliant take on the Cinquain Jerry, and I loved it! :bravothanx:

    I may have to try a few of this kind of Cinquain, that you have created here.
    Your contribution looks effortless and is quite exquisite. May take me a while, but I promise to try and deliver.

    AWESOME!!!!!


    {{{~~~***KIM***~~~}}} :)

    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    Jerry.........well written as usual. The cinquains with title lines configured into the presentation that make up a sixth cinquain is original thinking on your part. I believe the reader would not notice the sixth cinquain, unless it were predefined in the introduction.

    Great job, you have my congratulations

    Sartor

    P.S. On reading through your verses I did come across one simple error.

    Banquet
    Set unguarded
    By convention’s gaze
    Or appropriate behaviors.
    Enjoyed.


    The 3rd line should be six syllables in length.


    Posted By Sartor | Jun 17, 2007
    #7

    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

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    Sartor,

    Dang How did I miss that one. I had taunt in there must have deleted somehow. dang.

    Was really wanting you to stop by and comment thanks so much appreciate your time.

    Jerry

    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    Jerry...........or you could simply say...........By a convention’s gaze


    Posted By Sartor | Jun 17, 2007
    #9

    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

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    Sartor,

    Really packs another slant your way. Interesting. That's what I like about words. My intention here was the principle being skirted. Thanks for the suggestion!

    Jerry

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