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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Tiel Aisha Ansari New Member

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    High in the stormy air, a black bird turns,
    vast pinions overshadow the ground below.
    In the stricken city, lightning burns.

    Hear the wartime siren's wail and know
    it is the announcement of a dread arrival.
    Vast pinions overshadow the ground below.

    Now all energies are directed toward survival.
    Footsteps flee where the dread bird's shadow falls--
    it is the announcement of a dread arrival.

    The wide careless limbs of destruction sprawl.
    Fire stalks the topless towers while
    footsteps flee where the dread bird's shadow falls.

    In the distance, cold-hearted commanders smile.
    High in the stormy air, a black bird turns.
    Fire stalks the topless towers while
    in the stricken city, lightning burns.

    KingAce JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    As soon as I began reading this it made me think of the current war going on between Israel and Lebanon....This has very strong language and imagery a particular part that shows this is

    Now all energies are directed toward survival.
    Footsteps flee where the dread bird's shadow falls--
    it is the announcement of a dread arrival.


    this part here brings you into the moment and makes you believe that you are in a war, jungle like atmosphere and all of a sudden you realize you're alone and you hear footsteps and the only thing on your mind at the time is survival and getting away from whatever is coming towards you.....I really love this poem very nice; Thank You


    Posted By KingAce | Aug 16, 2006
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    Altree94 VIP Member

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    Fantastic! I love the repetition in this. Does this style have a name? Your avatar says "newbie", but you can't possibly be a newbie to poetry! This is a very proffessionaly written piece and you have great rhyming skills with an obvious gift for imagery! Write ON!


    Posted By Altree94 | Aug 24, 2006
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Yes - I too am adoring the imagery evoked whilst reading this piece TIEL - Very nice write, though I'm not quite sure if you speak from past experience and memory or if you are perhaps prophesying of something to come... The latter seems to be the case, as your wording evokes some kind of mystery in awe-inspiring dramatic context...

    Anyway - I also wonder if this style has a specific name - It seems familiar in a sense, as the repetive line is of the previous stanza...

    Very interesting write TIEL - I enjoyed reading this one And will love to know what inspired this write - Talk about it!

    Thanx for sharing!

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Aug 25, 2006
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    erikestabrook JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Man everyones poetry here is indeed lovely, i liked the subject matter and the form of the words it created such a picture that was priceless

    Amzy A friend, Well met.

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    Excellent work! Your repetition comes through seamlessly, and the entire flow of the poem is beautiful.


    Posted By Amzy | Aug 25, 2006
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    AmazonPoet New Member

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    Tiel, reading this poem was like watching a CNN news reel of an air raid. You brought to life the people's panic and futile attempt to run for their lives. This is the reason I love poetry. Poems like Warbirds have an incredible impact on their readers. The repetition was like a thumping pulse, giving the whole ravaged city scene a heartbeat. Thank you for sharing :)


    Amour not Ammo! :ak47: :air_kiss:


    Posted By AmazonPoet | Aug 30, 2006
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Hey TIEL - I just re-read your poem and it has a different meaning to me now - such is the beauty of really well-written poetry :yes:

    The image now: Phoenix perhaps? Burning perhaps? Returning from the flames of a horribly horrid two minutes of bliss perhaps?

    Anyway - we looking for your response:yes:
    Again thanx for sharing!

    JAcquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Aug 31, 2006
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