Welcome to JPiC Forum For Writers! Please log in or sign up to interact with our Community.
  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    ¤Me¤ New Member

    Member Since:
    Oct 19, 2006
    Message Count:
    339
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    The door creaked open,
    And in came her,
    Puffy eyes and hair more like fur,
    The exact image of my mother,
    And yet I couldn’t believe her being there.

    “I’m alright,”

    She had said,

    “Don’t you worry,
    My dear,
    Daddy decided to stay in town,
    He met up with some friends,
    He’d seen from the rear.”

    Yet the words that from her eyes bled:

    “I hope he’d stay till end of year”

    Next morning I awoke,
    To the sounds of footsteps,
    And the smell of smoke,
    I opened my door, and saw a pale skull,
    Thick fingers stroking the sand colored wall,

    The words written on his face,
    Like calligraphy,
    Written in a Korean melody,
    His eyes speaking as if in history,
    The shadow haunting every pace,

    It was my father,
    His smoke-scented coat hanging on the wall,
    His footsteps on the cold stone floor,
    His fingers lingering on every door,

    I slowly took a pace, downstairs,
    up,
    and around my face.
    I reached the kitchen, the voice of my mother scaring me,
    I pick myself up, smile, and speak,
    She doesn’t even lift her eyes,
    Doesn’t even take a peek,

    “Daddy came home after all,”

    I then said,
    Noticing my little sister get up from bed,

    “Yes, he did, that’s right,”

    And wrong, I saw her eyes continue.

    “I thought he wouldn’t come home for the night,”


    That day, we went to town,
    Glances only meeting ground,
    Daddy took off,
    Mommy took on,
    Mommy took off,
    Everything had gone wrong,

    While sprinting through the pages of Vogue,
    A heard a bit as they spoke,
    Levels, money, angry looks,
    someone calling honey,
    even law books,

    I had made it to page 150,
    Before they came down and stripped off our dignity,
    As if their souls had come to warn me,
    Told me to skip those pages,

    Mommy came inside,
    Her breath smelling of last nights wine,
    Her eyes still as quizzical and still not speaking,
    Her eyebrows low,
    Eyelids creaking,

    I made it to the second last page,
    Inevitable pain ran through my body,
    As if in a cage,
    Trapped with lions in insignificant range,
    I closed the magazine,
    Opened it again,

    I slowed down,
    Read every word letter by letter,
    Even with repetition,
    But my eyes shot to the look on my mothers face,
    And my father with a tissue.

    I felt a weight drop on my shoulders,

    I dropped the paper in my lap
    My thoughts in my brain,
    Dancing tap.

    “We have to tell you something,”

    She then said,

    We have to tell you something,

    I repeated in my head,

    That night I cried for eight hours before going to bed,
    That night everything changed,
    It wasn’t only the thoughts in my head,
    That had been rearranged.

    Instead of pebbles,
    The threw a rock on me,
    A big rock,
    Breaking me to pieces,
    Breaking me to pebbles,

    The next day, mommy pulled me into the car,

    “Let’s go for a little drive,”

    She told me,

    “Let’s go, it’s not that far,”

    We went to see daddy’s new house;
    Mommy cried 8 times,
    Daddy cried 9,
    My sister cried a zero times,
    And I,
    I talked to no one,
    Not even the reflection of mine,

    In the mirror, there were only fading laughing lines all over my face,
    Fastened steps alongside my mother,
    A double quickened pace,
    A wonder why my father still kissed my mother’s face.


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | Oct 14, 2007
    #1

    JolieH JPiC Contributor

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2007
    Message Count:
    498
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Location:
    CA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +1 / 0 / -0
    This is a lovely narrative poem. It tells such a sad story common in American culture and more in other cultures also these days. Freedom doesn't come without pain. I like your use af symbols to express emotion.
    " Trapped with lions in insignificant range"

    The last stanza is visual and meaningful. The quiet, the quickened pase, and the father kissing the mother holds a lot of sentiment, especially from the point of view of a curious child.

    "In the mirror, there were only fading laughing lines all over my face,
    Fastened steps alongside my mother,
    A double quickened pace,
    A wonder why my father still kissed my mother’s face. "

    I love this "fastened steps."


    Posted By JolieH | Oct 14, 2007
    #2

    bloodletting_of_the_sky New Member

    Member Since:
    Aug 28, 2006
    Message Count:
    174
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    painesville ohio...
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    the pictures you used to describe how your family looked... made me feel like i saw everything through your eyes... all i can say is... this was the most haunting nightmare i have ever heard.. and the most horrific part of it was that it was true
  1. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2006
    Message Count:
    925
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Canadian Prairies
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +52 / 0 / -0
    Wow .... and people think they know pain. But it is not real until someone experiences this. To have young ones hurt so bad...... brings me to tears. No one deserves to hurt so bad. Liisi my heart goes out to you and your sister. You wrote with honesty and such clarity of pain. I want to say it is a Beautiful write but the pain tears me. And I think it is meant to.

    Mysty


    Posted By Mysty | Oct 17, 2007
    #4

    ¤Me¤ New Member

    Member Since:
    Oct 19, 2006
    Message Count:
    339
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    Thanks for the comments. I really appreciate it. It's been hard for me, and well, writing about it helps. At least for me it does.


    Posted By ¤Me¤ | Oct 18, 2007
    #5

    Smiley24_7 NOOB

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Message Count:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Location:
    California
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    It nearly brought tears to my eyes. You were so keen in describing the pain, that I felt it along with you. There is so much detail in what you say, that I can picture every movement and every ache. My heart goes out to you.


    Posted By Smiley24_7 | Oct 23, 2007
    #6

We hope you're enjoying our forum!

Only registered Members have access to posting priviledges. Registration here is 100% FREE. Use the button below to begin registration or the form on the right to login to your account.

Forgot your password?

Share This Page