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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Kit Carson JPiC Contributor

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    I remember fields of green
    where once I lay
    with a love unseen
    an unknown game to play

    Where once I lay
    we once did ramble
    an unknown game to play
    life was the gamble

    We once did ramble
    far and wide
    life was the gamble
    up the mountain side

    Far and wide
    with a love unseen
    up the mountain side
    I remember fields of green


    Posted By Kit Carson | Jun 20, 2007
    #1

    Jer4clarity Lover of Meanings

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    Kit,

    I like the way you tied all your lines together. This adds body to your context and to the poem. Great write!

    My Fav:

    Jerry

    Kit Carson JPiC Contributor

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    Thank you very much my friend. I spent many many days roaming those fields near where I grew up, with a variety of friends. Sadly they are housing complexes mostly now.


    Posted By Kit Carson | Jun 20, 2007
    #3

    Sally Roberts Forestdawn

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    Goodness Kit:

    I loved your pantoum poem. This type of poem is a challenge for sure, and you pulled it off perfectly. The meter and rhyme was totally grand. and the imagery was splendid!

    I loved it Thanks for sharing
    Blessings
    Sally

    Kit Carson JPiC Contributor

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    But sadly it wasn't a pantoum. I had to pull "Only time will abide" in favor of "Up the montain side". It was a coin toss. I thought there was one line that didn't repeat when I first read the rules for form, but all lines repeat! Fixed it! Thanks for your comments my friends, don't hate me for the edit!


    Posted By Kit Carson | Jul 12, 2007
    #5

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