Welcome to JPiC Forum For Writers! Please log in or sign up to interact with our Community.
  1. Welcome!

    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    missc New Member

    Member Since:
    Sep 4, 2007
    Message Count:
    22
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    GA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    What am I going to do?
    By: “stupid is as stupid does”

    My Mr. Right made a lasting impression on my life
    I fell in love with a man who says he loves me, but acts as if he don’t
    Our romance was that of an award-winning novel. Passionate. Sexy. Unpredictable.
    Then, things went from certain to ambiguous.
    From hot to freezing cold.
    From tender debates, to flaming breakups
    Our romance transformed like a tadpole into a frog.
    He seems to be a whole ‘nother person
    He wrote to me “I want to tell you I love you everyday”
    He strokes the outer corners of my face and whisper in my ear, “I love you” in the dim blue light reflecting off my red lounge
    He makes love to me passionately and slowly
    His body speaking to my spirit in another language that only our inner beings understands.
    I love him. I love the idea of him. I love his presence.
    But lately it is difficult to love someone who really only says they love you
    It’s difficult not to give up on someone that really seems as if they really don’t care
    Its difficult not to give up on relationships when every other one left my heart in pieces like Katrina and New Orleans
    A failed love is like Hurricane Katrina
    You try to pick up the pieces and rebuild, but there is always so much more to do
    It seems as if you cannot prioritize because every thing has its own distinct significance
    Where do I start?
    Trust- downtown tourism. Self esteem- the people. Love-small businesses. Rebuilding of the spirit- leadership.
    In my life, when it rains it pours
    What’s funny is when you are the cause; it’s hard to turn to God.
    Have you ever been in a situation when you know the decision you are making is wrong but it fits just right?
    I am so tired of being taken advantage of.
    I feel like life is the job that I need to take care of my family. My boss is men, lies, and deception. And, I am the employee whose boss knows how much I need my job, and as a result, treats me like a replaceable commodity. As if I am meaningless, nothing, a number on a check.
    So I never quit the job-I never give up on love. And, I take crap from my boss- I forgive & continue to love men who walk all over me. Lie to me. Hurt me.
    It seems to be a continuous cycle for me.
    I have made this same mistake several times in different colors.
    Actually, the same color, just different shades.
    I get involve with these men.
    I fall in love with these nasty creatures from hell.
    I begin to cater to them and allow myself to be vulnerable
    They trap that vulnerability with the right words and right timing and manipulate me
    I realize that things aren’t what they seem, but
    It’s too late.
    Now I am older and stronger in my Christian walk, but I don’t even want to turn to god because I know what I want to do
    I know what my heart wants to do and what my flesh wants to do
    You see this doesn’t really fall into my plans.
    My next child is supposed to be with my next husband, not with some brief romance. A fast-talking, broke, sleeze bag!
    I don’t want to raise another child with a baby daddy, especially with another sorry baby daddy
    I am not the baby daddy type of female.
    Well I don’t want to be that but, in all actuality, I am!
    I am not the person, the woman, the lady I want to be. I am not the woman I see myself as.
    I see a distorted picture- what I want to be and what I am all mixed together.
    You see, I can’t tell anyone because they will not understand.
    You see, what I want to do is something my tongue declared to the world I would never do.
    So if I do the unthinkable, no one can never know, but I guess you all will.
    I am a good mother.
    But, I do not want to take out of my daughter’s mouth to feed another
    She deserves the world.
    That’s selfish of me but it’s the truth.
    The funny part is my daughter prayed and prayed for this baby. She wants a sibling so bad, she asks for it at least once a week.
    What am I going to do?

    (Stick around for part two)


    Posted By missc | Oct 16, 2007
    #1

  1. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2006
    Message Count:
    925
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Canadian Prairies
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +52 / 0 / -0
    Wow MissC, what can I say ...... my heart breaks for you. You are stuck in a rut, falling for the same old... same old. Hon do you look to these boy daddies to make you happy? It won't work hon.... because that happiness comes from inside YOU. Such emotion .... disappointment. I think you are more than you realize hon and I think you will follow your heart because that will show you the right path in the end. :hug::hug:

    Mysty


    Posted By Mysty | Oct 16, 2007
    #2

    missc New Member

    Member Since:
    Sep 4, 2007
    Message Count:
    22
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    GA
    Books:
    0
    Ratings Received:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    thak you mysty I really appreciate your words. I don't know. Today was a pretty jolly day. My heart wins today. But, I don't know how I will feel tomorrow.


    Posted By missc | Oct 17, 2007
    #3

We hope you're enjoying our forum!

Only registered Members have access to posting priviledges. Registration here is 100% FREE. Use the button below to begin registration or the form on the right to login to your account.

Forgot your password?

Share This Page