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    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    ghost_lamb New Member

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    What do you want from us?
    What do you expect from us?
    'Cause recently it's felt like one day at a time with no direction,
    Accumulating into some unknown heavenly perfection.
    But is heaven really that great?
    And is hell really so bad?
    Because if it is, trust me, I'll give you everything that I have, but,
    I've always been one to think for myself, and,
    I don't want to just be boxed up and put on a shelf.
    If it's an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth,
    Then fine, I'll eat a few dogs along the way,
    But there is one thing I'd just say.
    If science is an art, then how come art can't be science,
    I mean, I'm no hippie, but could there not be more to this alliance?
    If life is just about happiness, then let me do it my way.
    Let me fuck up and start again, trust me I'll be okay.
    It's just one big fucking rat race with no reward,
    No room to make or do what I want, on my own accord.


    People always say these years are the best in life,
    But I'm not convinced, it seems like this freedom comes at a price.
    A world of uncertainty, where the most passionate feelings can be deceiving.
    Trying to analyse an existence, where seeing isn't always believing.
    Was that an emotion? Or was that just a hormone?
    Is this really about how 'shit my life is'? Or is it my broken mobile phone?
    But I guess it's no wonder almost half of all teenagers are self-diagnosed depressives when,
    Society's onslaught of pressure is just about "bordering on excessive".
    How can I trust a world when I can't even trust my own feelings?
    Why can't I stop playing along? What is it that stops me from dreaming?


    Thank God for what?
    And don't just assume this is an angry, aimless rant,
    because it's not.
    I mean, I'm no expert, but I thought of all sins,
    sacrificing your own son was just about the worst of the lot.
    You condemn your people for thought crime,
    Then demand that they love you.
    And we can't complain, because after all,
    No one is above you.
    If you really are "all-powerful", then go on,
    make me believe.
    I know it sounds immature but then again,
    I'm not the one who makes promises he can't keep.
    I mean, I'm not perfect, but then again,
    I guess that makes two of us.

    The film is coming to an end now,
    The credits are rolling.
    So you break into a sad song just to,
    Keep the story going.
    The melody flows as people's hearts begin to break.
    These aren't just songs,
    These are moments that you make.
    But see you can't make reality,
    Reality has no recipe.
    It has the makings of disaster,
    And disaster is not a felony.
    It makes who we are,
    despite who we'd rather be.
    Karma don't exist and God ain't gonna come and save me.
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    Posted By ghost_lamb | Jan 6, 2013
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    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    WOW ..... this was quiet the write. I have not read anything so good in a long time. I do have to say though...... God says Ask and Ye shall receive. We were given the right to choose. and I choose to believe but that does not lessen the impact your poem had on me. I remember what it was like to be a teen and to be perpetually depressed. I tell you though.... although I did have a couple of attempts at suicide when I was younger... I am REALLY glad I survived and lived to see it through to my end. I learned a great deal the older I got and I realized that my happiness ....... anyone's happiness really, is dependent on one person. Ourselves! No one can make us happier than we can make ourselves.

    And now that my rant is done lol. This was a really really good Write!! If I was a teacher I would give it a 100 %.

    I enjoyed reading your work and will watch for more. Thank You for posting Ghost Lamb :)
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    Posted By Mysty | Jan 13, 2013
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    What brazen audacity! Bold. Who are we to question The Omnipotent? Blind allegiance_seriously?... and all that jazz.

    Sometimes I'm ashamed to admit, but the cross is highly offensive to me...For just the reason I bolded above. I suppose some folks' definition of 'sacrifice' seems perfectly horrific to me... I will not admit this to just anyone mind you. This is controversial stuff and not everyone is ready. :chuckle2:

    I digress.. I meant to preface my post with Welcome to JPiC ghost_lamb and the prerequisite - Please familiarize yourself with the JPiC Posting Policy so that you know what we expect of our members...

    So now that the necessaries are out of the way. Let me say - I admire your brazen audacity in this piece. It would not sit well with a lot of folks - but I'm not necessarily a lot of folks.

    I think what I admire about your piece is that you approach from a clear spoken word perspective as for your poetics. The rhythm seems on point - at times your rhyme seems forced, could be tighter. But this is the risk we take when putting what should clearly be spoken, into written format...

    Brazen and bold. Yet naive in that you're asking, almost passively, "God, dare you right what in my mind seems hypocricy? I'm gonna need a few answers Jehovah and I have a LOT of questions. Help ya boy understand these things please."

    A bit passive, but most certainly direct. A bit naive. But who isn't naive when it comes to acknowledging the specific particulars of a Most High, when the Most High's book(s) of parables, proverbs and poems have been used by humanity to condemn fellow humanity for centuries now? Anyway....

    I'm glad you didn't put the word "never" in this last line. I'm almost surprised you didn't end the piece with, "Besides, who needs a Savior? Humanity." And left it at that. LOL Though your words may on the surface appear unbelieving and ominous, I'm glad this last line offers a fleeting glimpse at optimism.

    Nice first share with our community. I look forward to reading more from you. Thanks for sharing, Welcome to JPiC again and thanks for allowing me to ramble all over the place as response to your poem LOL

    J.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jan 14, 2013
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    First of all = Love ya. Second of all - Your end is not here yet my dear :p
    Mysty your replies sometimes astound me. This is one of them! You're an inspiration my dear.
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    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jan 14, 2013
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    JONATHAN living not existing.

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    I don't necessarily agree to everything you say but I wont lie that I have never been where you are but I like to believe that ultimately if your search is sincere you do find your God .. I say your God because though I believe in Christ and the cross, I dont believe its necessary you would find him at the foot of an old wooden cross hung up in the church across the street but then again its your search and your God .. when how and who its your story to write .
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    Posted By JONATHAN | Jan 15, 2013
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    @ the underlined portion = I most certainly hope not LOL
    But Jon - you continually surprise me with your openness to diversity and your appreciation for one's own personal discovery of idealism. These are the stolid foundation that JPiC sits a'top! :friends:
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    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jan 15, 2013
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    JONATHAN living not existing.

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    Was never the one to be consciously politically correct but then again when I think about God .. its hard to believe in the one size fits all kind .. personally I believe God is almost tailor made to fit each unique individual in his or her own unique capacity.


    Posted By JONATHAN | Jan 16, 2013
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Funny you should say that. Reminds me of the aetheist saying, "God didn't create man in His own image. Rather, man created God in his image." So you're being a bit (intentionally?) contraversial there my friend LOL

    J.

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    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jan 27, 2013
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    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    I don't know about man creating God in their image Jonathan.... I do agree he is tailored to everyone who asks of him. I swear on my soul he has answered me any time I had to call out to him. The times, thankfully have be far and few. I do not like to seem needy and I am stubborn to the core lol. I also know that sometimes it seems as if he doesn't answer. This is because the answer is not the one we are looking for and you have to be really open to hearing all responses if you are gonna listen. Anyways enough about Religion. To each their own I say and I myself do not want to impose my beliefs on anyone. I think everyone has the right to believe or not in the way of their own choosing. I myself do not go to church. I believe that church is a situation that occurs when ever 2 or more get together to discuss and worship the God of their choice. It is not necessarily a building. Anyways I am off to bed. Have to be up early to get my disability request in.
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    Posted By Mysty | Jan 28, 2013
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    JONATHAN living not existing.

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    I have neither said nor implied man created God in his own image, but what I actually meant is what I actually said .


    Posted By JONATHAN | Jan 28, 2013
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    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    I am sorry hun I should never have said that then. I read it somewhere and I thought it was here. Beg your pardon...
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    Posted By Mysty | Jan 28, 2013
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Ha. I said that. But it's not necessarily something I believe, but something I quoted.... Mysty I hope your disability appointment goes well.

    J.

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    JONATHAN living not existing.

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    Mysty chill, I just wanted to let you know that I have no atheist leanings..


    Posted By JONATHAN | Jan 28, 2013
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Everybody chill before I get me whip out :girl_devil:LOL

    Sowwy everybody. I didn't realize my comment would spark debate. Well I suppose I did and posted anyway...
    And actually - I was referencing a popular quote by Ludwig Feuerback that's most used in aesthetic circles:



    Of course there's a few variations of the quote, one of which is below:
    Personally I think this quote rings more true because of its relevance to today...

    quote.jpg

    At anyrate - We're each allowed our opinions. We at JPiC are celebrating diversity with the typed word though. So no worries.
    Carry on...

    J.

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