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    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    solo New Member

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    a liquid breath of thought:
    serenity composed
    of bittersweet memory
    and pulsing-heart love
    denied

    I, the taciturn child
    inspired by your ethereal presence
    put pen to paper and wrote:
    "I love you", for the very first time...

    With retrospect, I suppose
    such phrases must have seemed trite
    and commonplace to beauty such as yours:
    Were there not whole legions of women
    who wrote that?
    and more effusively than I
    with my monosyllabic habits
    You would never understand
    what courage that required
    of me: my heart
    on a sacrificial slate,
    my soul balanced between
    madness and epiphany

    With the progress of age now encouraged
    to greater volubility I ask:
    Is not the rare word
    more precious than abundant
    overused declarations of love?

    I for one
    never said it again

    ©2008 robynne


    Posted By solo | Feb 4, 2008
    #1

    Moonchild Moon Goddess of Whispers

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    You took the words "I love you" and made them unique.
    Well said and written. Wonderful message and good use of words.
    This is good. I like it!


    Posted By Moonchild | Feb 5, 2008
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    solo New Member

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    thank-you moon child...


    Posted By solo | Feb 10, 2008
    #3
  1. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Wow... this is an exquisite poem and I am giving it an excellent rating. I however disagree.... it is not the particular word one uses to say "I Love You" ...... more in than the fact of the way one says it, vocal inflections .. the expression on the face.. in the eyes. The way it is used. Because really if you think about it..... every written word is a cliché if it is used by someone. I mean how many ways can one say "I Love You" before someone claims cliché?

    Anyways I did not find that the case here in your poem. This is simply Exquisite and definitely going in my favorites.

    Mysty


    Posted By Mysty | Feb 10, 2008
    #4

    solo New Member

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    awww thanx mysty...I was a bit depressed when i wrote it....your appreciation does make me feel better:)


    Posted By solo | Feb 11, 2008
    #5

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