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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    HeddgieBedgie New Member

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    Wrote this today while thinking of a couple of lovers who left.

    Whenever Love Becomes A Game
    © A. Minter 2006

    It makes no difference how you shuffle
    You are losin’ from the start,
    Because you can’t walk out a winner
    When you ante with your heart.

    When your cards are on the table
    And the dealin’ is all through,
    You can tell the game is over
    When the game starts playing you.

    If you play them or you fold them
    And let the chips fall where they may,
    It still won’t make a difference,
    You can bet she’ll walk away.

    I thought I knew what I was doin’,
    But missed the most important rule,
    A man can never beat a woman
    Because she’s playin’ with a fool.

    It won’t matter how you play it
    It will still come out the same,
    Every heart’s a loser
    Whenever love becomes a game.

    Altree94 VIP Member

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    Awesome write, Al!
    A lot of insight here!
    Seems we all must learn it the hard way, though!
    Sad subject but I love the perfect rhymes and the toe-tapping rhythm of this poem! TY for posting!


    Posted By Altree94 | Dec 18, 2006
    #2

    athlone www.poetrypages4u.com

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    HeddgieBedgie - Absolutely brilliant!
    Thoroughly enjoyable read.

    When your cards are on the table
    And the dealin’ is all through,
    You can tell the game is over
    When the game starts playing you.

    A man can never beat a woman
    Because she’s playin’ with a fool.

    Oh but women can be fools too, or so they tell me!

    Constructed very well, but not only the mechanics were good, the metaphore and sentiment were brilliantly interwoven.
    :wave:
    Zvi
    poetrypages4u.com


    Posted By athlone | Dec 18, 2006
    #3
  1. Malnourished

    Ariono-jovan Labu Member

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    yeah

    bravo- bravo artist. this was definately worth while in sharing artist. i could truly relate this type battle, or simply seeking middle ground. glad i travel back to find. magnifico-
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Hi HEDDGIEBEDGIE - This may be the 1st poem of yours that I've had the pleasure to read... I like it - You've espoused a good piece of knowledge. But you've prefaced it - as seen in the title - with "whenever"

    Some may look at this poem and think that it has a very cynical outlook on love. But to me LOVE has never been a game. Therefore the cynicism is nil... Interesting how you analagize cards & chips into the mix... I'm not much of a gambler (anymore LOL) so I'd tend to toss the cards & chips away.

    Love is not to be played with, as it seems so very difficult to find. Look @ the evening news for proof...

    Anyway - not to get to philosophical - but I enjoyed this read. Poem is pretty good too :p - But seriously - hope I haven't read too much into your intentions. It'd be interesting to know the backstory from whence came your motivation for writing this poem.

    Very nice share = Thanx ;)

    Jacquii.


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Dec 27, 2006
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  3. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Very true... especially because love makes you a giver...

    loved it!
    Nomad :beach:
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Ha - Nice reading this again - 5 years later and it's still a bit relevant.
    But is HedgieBedgie even alive?!? LOL


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | May 26, 2011
    #7

    HeddgieBedgie New Member

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    HedgieBedgie is still alive and practicing law in the Great State of Texas, but, unfortunately, not writing much any more ... except for legal opinions, etc.
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Nice! Glad things are good with you HedgieBedgie = you know the ol' saying though right? Once a poet, always a poet :yes:


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Jun 14, 2011
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    Wind WindXSaul

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    No matter what a man can speka the truth but no matter how wrong a women is she is always right


    Posted By Wind | Mar 12, 2012
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    tham Member

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    Thank You for the share,the man falls hard upon his sword,foolishly.


    Posted By tham | Mar 12, 2012
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    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    I had to read this again. It's still very relevant and still carries a great beat and rythm. It's a great poem because it raises all kinds of questions in the mind of the reader and can be intrinsic in starting a very lively discussion!

    Nomad
    :beach:
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    You know what? This last stanza is kinda tricky... I re-read and it dawns on me, "Wait a minute. Love is not a game!" Aha! Therein lies a message quite unlike any other ==> Make love real (as it's meant to be) then there are no loosers! Nice :)

    Sage words. Sage words LOL- And possibly words that indeed ring most true for those couples who have decades and decades of wedded bliss together. The kind of bliss that has survived the test of time :)
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    Wind WindXSaul

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    What well spoken truth,To think using such a line for how a man is.least it be forgotten man are only fool's when they're in love


    Posted By Wind | Oct 7, 2012
    #14
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    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    As the saying goes though, "It takes all kinds." -- I'd rather a man in love with me (the world thinking him the most foolish of fools) than the man who knows not the value of being conceptually "foolishly in love." --- hmmm - I wonder if this even makes sense

    Got a quote for ya:
    :wub:
    • Like Like x 1


    Posted By MsJacquiiC | Oct 7, 2012
    #15

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