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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum

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  1. Cheeky

    lasher Member

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    Dec 31, 2006
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    Where I Come From

    A scarecrow leers at me today…..
    He lurks behind a fence,
    standing silent sentinel
    against the scavengers above.

    There are many fences
    where I come from –
    parceling fortresses
    behind tree-lined streets.

    Families gather at the local fields
    to watch their children shag –
    Clucking with friends while they
    covet their neighbor’s wives.

    There are many churches
    where I come from,
    Sunday morning saints atoning
    for a week of indulgence.

    Careful eyes with pasted smiles
    and a fairly hearty “How do ya do?”
    are strewn about with the
    wariness of a dog over a bone.

    Yes, neighbors are watching
    where I come from.
    They guard their young against
    the onslaught of pushers and pimps.

    The long-arms ever on the prowl;
    guarding their borders against
    the rising tide of muggings and
    infections from neighboring cities.

    Small town USA is where I come
    from; teeming with poise, pride and
    petty rivalries – just all American
    people living an all American dream.

    Posted By lasher | Mar 23, 2007

    Altree94 VIP Member

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    Very nice! Love your use of repetition - really gives it a lyrical beat!
    Good use of irony as well!
    - Tree.

    Posted By Altree94 | Mar 27, 2007
  2. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Channeling Rainbow
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    Dear lasher,

    This was a very realistic write. As Ms Tree mentioned the "irony", added so much depth, and feeling to the poem. What stood out was the "holding on" to the all "American Dream", above all. The stanzas I highlighted stood out to me, and speaks intimately "if you will" in my opinion. The very first stanza spoke volumes, and set the tone of the piece. Especially the word choice. I loved the irony of the selection of the words "parceling fortresses". As one knows, a fortress is a place of what is understood to have exceptional security. Yet, the fear of the onslaught of pushers and pimps are in your neighborhood as well. As this "invasion" seeks all towns, all neighborhoods, from the most infested, to elite gated communities, even to small town USA's.

    This world of war
    drugs, killing, and tears
    the wealthy and homeless
    separated by the dollar
    now share the same fears

    Thank you for a thought provoking scribe lasher, and I enjoyed this very much. It inspired me to scribe the short verse above. Great job dear poet!!


    Benny New Member

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    Oct 20, 2006
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    Extremely well written...an honest truth about who we are, even at our best. The human race is the most fickle and dangerous thing in existence...eh, I wasn't talking about me, of course. Great work, muse.

    Posted By Benny | Mar 31, 2007

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