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Discussion in 'Emotional Romantic' started by Sartor, Mar 10, 2007.



    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    WHITE ROSE
    .
    The setting Sun-God kissed a bud
    that lay among the thorn.
    Upon that loving, gentle kiss
    a snow white rose was born.
    .
    He promised when he left her there,
    he would return again.
    Once more sweet love they two would share
    and gone would be the pain.
    .
    She waits in darkness of the night,
    bowed low in grief her head.
    He’s gone away, he’s taken flight,
    she wishes she were dead.
    .
    The cold moon in the purple sky
    stared down upon her plight,
    as quietly she starts to cry
    cold tear drops in the night.
    .
    The perfect whiteness of her skin
    now marred by dew drop tears,
    never to see her love again
    but live within her fears.
    .
    But lo, upon the eastern rim
    a red smudge softly glows.
    Her heart still filled with love for him,
    the heart of the white rose.
    .
    With dew drop tears on petals white
    she waits to greet her Lord.
    His rosy glow soon kills the night,
    his rays a fire sword.
    .
    His red-gold beams search out the rose,
    demands to be inside.
    She blushes, bows and softly glows,
    then holds her petals wide.
    .
    His sunbeams touch her very soul
    his love had made her bloom.
    She softly pays the lover’s toll,
    allows him to consume.
    .
    His blinding brilliance floods the plain
    and suddenly she knows,
    each day he will come back again
    to love the pure white rose.
    .
    Sartor


    Posted By Sartor | Mar 10, 2007
    #1

  1. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    This is an amazing lesson in love, patience, submission and triumph..a masterpiece! :girltender:
    :blush2:

    Nomad

    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    Nomad.........a masterpiece? I doubt that very much. Thanks for the very kind words. I appreciate them


    Posted By Sartor | Mar 10, 2007
    #3

    TrueBlue New Member

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    Nice simplicity!


    Posted By TrueBlue | Mar 11, 2007
    #4

    Intricate soul intricate soul

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    Very nice, I love the simplicity. Purity, a white rose, innocence at its best.

    You should try a complimenting piece, perhaps a dew drop or a humming bird's perspective... think about it. Muy Bien!!

    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    True Blue.......thanks for the note.

    Hola, Intricate Soul.......Welcome to the forum. Thanks for the compliment.


    Posted By Sartor | Mar 12, 2007
    #6

    Curtis Spider Lee Curtis Spider Lee

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    Not to judge you but I feel you in the work here.
    Simply Beautyful Mr.Sartor.

    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    CSL....No judgment is necessary. As with most poets, a part of me lies within each poem I write. Welcome to our forum. I look forward to seeing your work posted here. Thank you for the remarks.


    Posted By Sartor | Mar 17, 2007
    #8

    zaac Banned

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    hey stranger...never see you until you drop a poem. nice to see you. and as always, you still do good work. come around more.

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Mar 17, 2007
    #9

    Bear JPiC Contributor

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    Zaac

    magnificent loving write, this is written with true love in your heart and filled with emotions
    handshakes
    tom


    Posted By Bear | Mar 18, 2007
    #10
  2. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    Wow SARTOR - you've done it again - A very eloquent piece from you. Though I dare ask --- is this poem truly about the relationship between budding flower and the sun? It's quite amazing - to think that LITERALLY you're poeting on the premise of nature's simplicity - but if read between the lines - so to speak - it's about a relationship of "taking the bad with the good" And........surviving with the fittest...

    This poem is just classically GENIUS to me - Very well written - nicely executed and a throughly enjoyable read!

    Thanx for sharing this poem with us ;)

    Jacquii.

    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    Zaac.........I pop in from time to time, read some of the posts and answer a few, drop a poem or two then get on with my day. Thanks for the note.

    Bear........I will forgive you this time..........heh-heh..........Welcome to the forum. I am glad you enjoyed my poetry.

    Jac.......Actually there is no great and noble meaning to the poem. I wanted to write a love poem and merely substituted a rose and the sun for the people, then had to steer the storyline along natures path, if you get my drift. Thank you so much Jac, for expressing your thoughts on the read. As I have said in the past, the sweetest words to the ear of the Poet, are those of praise.


    Posted By Sartor | Mar 20, 2007
    #12
  3. Lurking

    MsJacquiiC Poetica Magnifique

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    AWESOME - I thought as much about the literal meaning
    Very eloquently stated love poem - Well done Poet ;)

    Jacquii.

    ~Serenity~ ~Pixie Princess~

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    Hiya Sartor! Gotta love this -> sweet read, leaves me feeling warm and fuzzy, with a classical (and comforting) sort of feeling to the words, and of course, a happy ending =) What more could a reader want? Aside from maybe an autograph =) hehe. Amazing stuff!!! Thanks so much for sharing! Can't wait to see more

    Smiles!,
    ~Serenity~
  4. Cheeky

    lasher Member

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    Great write!! Fantastic topic, smooth cadence and a vast assembly of visuals.... Nice.....


    Posted By lasher | Mar 20, 2007
    #15
  5. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Sartor,

    :wow::wow: I sat back and read this several times. The concept of the love affair of the Sun, and the White Rose is amazing. As I have stated before, your poetry is phenomenal, and your range seems infinite. This was so beautiful, beautifully executed, and really told an exquisite story. I am in awe of you as a seasoned poet, and in awe of your work. Your work is classic and memorable. We truly are blessed to have crossed paths with you Sir. Just Amazing!!! Thank you for sharing with us.

    {{{~~**KIM**~~}}}:giftrose:

    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    Serenity............I love the fact you love it. Thanks for the note.

    Lasher........thanks for the kind words.

    Kim, Kim, Kim............You, my dear, are too kind. You heap praise upon me by the bucketful. Deserved or not, I relish it. Thanks for taking the time to put it into words.


    Posted By Sartor | Mar 21, 2007
    #17

    zaac Banned

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    and now, another quite disgustingly satisfying and enriching droplet of literary gold.

    zaac


    Posted By zaac | Mar 21, 2007
    #18

    Sartor JPiC Contributor

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    Careful there Zaac or you will have me believing you..........heh-heh


    Posted By Sartor | Mar 21, 2007
    #19

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