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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Tiel Aisha Ansari New Member

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    You walked barefoot in the sand
    smiling with tawny eyes
    and black dandelion hair. Heat rippled
    from your caramel skin
    from the blazing sun.

    Cinnamon and salt your skin
    silent power in your footstep
    desert wind your breath.
    Desert now my heart
    only my dreams roar at midnight.

    KingAce JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    I like this...short but full of what a very long poem has, and thats beauty...itz like you're taking something as simple as a description and definition of the way you feel about this situation and you have changed it into something that is very artistic and wonderful to read....It seems like a break-up at the end but the way you wrote it makes it seem like life isn't over, that this is merely one of those relationships that ends with a mutual break-up and no feelings are hurt....I may be way off with my interpretation but I love it anyway...please help clarify if I was off; Thank You


    Posted By KingAce | Aug 13, 2006
    #2

    Tiel Aisha Ansari New Member

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    Well, King, you can make whatever interpretation you nlike: there's no "wrong" answer. Thanks for your appreciation.
  1. Artistic

    PaintedDiary JPiC Mentor

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    Dear Tiel Aisha Ansari,

    This is a free spirited poem, one with no right or wrong answer, as you have stated above, and it is quite lovely. The imagery was beautiful. The length was appropriate and, the story can leave your audience with a myriad of lovely possibilities (that is some poetry writing) , however, is reminiscent to lost loves, finding each other, but perhaps, cannot have each other. You scribed just enough, yet left me pondering, as to what is to become, perhaps a part 2. At any rate----->Fabulous!!!!

    Painted Diary aka Kimberly

    Tiel Aisha Ansari New Member

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    Thank you, Paint!

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