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    Hello Guest | Welcome To Jacquii's Poetry in Color Forum


    JPiC Forum for Writers is an online community exclusively dedicated to the share of poetry and writing. As a continuing work-in-progress, our poetry forums host a melange of writing with new additions being posted daily. We encourage you to right now and come join us in our celebration of diversity with the typed word!


    Poetry Garden New Member

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    If I could feel your breath on my face

    and your hands in my hair

    in the hours of the evening


    The vastness of the days

    would be effortless

    and I could go on living

    ┬ędp

    Phonoho Honest Critic

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    I'm focusing on the word effortless. Any thought easily expressed, bright or melancholy, is well suited for tercets, which is why I enjoy them. Many would describe this as simple in execution if not for how, immediately after that single word in the 2nd line of the closing tercet, a shadow falls to give the poem its final wash of color, a darkening effect that belies the hopefulness of the preceding lines.


    Posted By Phonoho | Sep 8, 2007
    #2
  1. Artistic

    Mysty JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    Ahh how empty we feel without our soulmates. Beautiful capturing of that yearning... and the loneliness of it. Beautiful write dp ... love this.

    Mysty


    Posted By Mysty | Sep 8, 2007
    #3
  2. Cool

    nomadicrhymer JPiC Premium VIP Member

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    This does seem really effortless and flows so so smoothly and like a fluid, yearning thought flowing through from one person to another...very nice!

    Nomad

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