First, thanks for thinking of us. We are always looking to expose our readers.... to hilarious new material. Everything we publish is funny, so please don't send in something that isn't. We only publish cartoons and funny stories. Cartoons should be "scannable" (good quality photocopies are fine) and stories should be about 500-700 words.

There is no limit to our scope and we cover just about everything that can be funny including politics, news, relationships, food, technology, pets, work, death, environmental issues, business, religion, seasonal events and everything else relating to the general human condition. Since we carry no advertising we don't have an editorial calendar, but we have a lead-time of several months, e.g., December holiday material should be mailed for consideration in September. We only buy one-time reproduction rights and do not require exclusives; all other rights stay with the copyright holder. We pay $25-40 for cartoons based on reproduced size and $60 for stories. We pay upon publication. In addition to being paid, we also provide our published contributors with a complimentary Funny Times subscription and will swap website links.

Submissions should be mailed to:

THE FUNNY TIMES
C/O THE EDITORS
P.O. BOX 18530
CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OH 44118

All submissions should include a SASE so you can get your material back and will know if, dare we say it, your material is "rejected." We do not accept faxed or e-mailed submissions. Given the volume of unsolicited submissions we receive, it may take us several months to get to them, so please be patient.

HINTS: Don't overwhelm the editors. Pick 5-10 of your favorites just to get us interested and we'll contact you if we want more. In your cover letter, please tell us where you've been published because it lets us know who else thinks you're funny (this will not necessarily be held against you). Also, don't give up if we mail your packet back, several of our contributors mailed stuff to us for months before we found something we liked or before we learned to appreciate their perspective.